10 superpowers every student nurse wants
Ever wish you could be in several places at once? How about the ability to grow extra limbs on demand? Those dreams don’t go away once you’ve passed the NCLEX. Here are some special, time-and-space-bending superpowers that will always come in handy for nurses…even when you’re no longer a student.
1. The ability to stop time for as long as necessary. This would really come in handy during exams, while you’re learning sterile technique and during lunch breaks.
2. Whatever it is that makes Stretch Armstrong so stretchy. Reaching to grab supplies would take on a whole new meaning.
3. The Scrubs of Invisibility, which would be particularly useful if you haven’t prepared well for that in-class discussion on acid-base balance.
4. Extra arms, PRN. Yeah, you’d look like an octopus for most of your shift, but there would be fewer patient falls!
5. The digestive powers of a boa constrictor. Think about it: You could eat once a week and never have to take breaks or put off charting.
6. The metabolic level of a hibernating bear—chiefly because, if I’m recalling correctly, they don’t pee much during their long sleep.
7. Super-strength. No more waiting…and waiting…for lift help.
8. The ability to adjust thermostats, stop beeping pumps and reset machines…with the power of your mind.
9. Remote charting: sort of like ESP, but you can psychically type in or write down anything you want, as it’s happening.
10. No sense of smell. This one would be in use from the first day of clinicals until your retirement party.
We know you’ve been dreaming of your own nurse superpower…share it with us in the comments section below!
Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at firstname.lastname@example.org.
By Agatha Lellis