Image: © iStockphoto.com/brett lamb
Nurses hear it all: The good, the bad, and the (very, very!) ugly. From pushy patients to bossy doctors, nurses handle it all with grace. But there are some things that can get under the most tolerant nurse’s skin.
NursingLink talked to healthcare professionals, one another and (of course!) nurses to find out what phrases or questions were most irritating. Ever felt like strangling someone with your stethoscope? Then you probably heard one of these 10 things.
10. “Helloooooo, Nurse!”
You’re not an object to be fawned over. You’re saving lives here! You don’t have time to be ogled. Luckily, younger generations probably have never heard the phrase, so you can hope that it will be phased out soon.
Okay. We get it. We’ve all seen the cartoons with the buxom nurse who is swooned over by a wolf, or a man, or an Animaniacs character. It wasn’t funny or original the first dozen times you heard it, and it certainly hasn’t made a positive impact 10 years later.
9. “Do You Only Date Doctors?”
Puh-lease. Anyone who has actually spent any time around a doctor knows that dating one is next to impossible. Crazy hours. Constant stress. Big egos. Who wants to put up with that? Plus, everyone knows you shouldn’t “dip your pen in the company ink.” Spending 12-plus hours with someone can make you form an incredibly close bond, but that doesn’t mean your coworkers will make the best significant others.
Anyone who asks a nurse this is clearly watching too much Grey’s Anatomy and needs their head examined.
8. “C’mon. Nursing is Just Like on TV!”
What were we just saying about people who watch too much Grey’s Anatomy? While medical shows are a great form of entertainment – tons of nurses watch them, too – that doesn’t mean they are an accurate portrayal of when hospital life is like. Nursing organizations have even taken up arms against nurse-centered shows like Nurse Jackie and HawthoRNe. Prior to these shows, nurses were almost never the focus of a medical TV show. Nurses were merely in the background emptying bedpans or taking orders.
But we know the truth. Nurses are the foundation of any good health system. They don’t have time to be the center of attention because they are always cleaning up a (metaphorical) mess a doctor has left!
7. “Nurses Take Orders From Doctors”
Nurses work alongside other nurses. They report to other nurses. They belong to organizations and unions just for nurses. Edie Falco of Nurse Jackie put it perfectly when she said “Doctors diagnose. Nurses save lives.” When it comes down to it, nurses are the ones in the trenches. Because they spend the most time with patients, they can be counted on to know when something is wrong or if a patient has made any progress.
Doctors and nurses may work side-by-side, but nurses are responsible for nurses.
6. “What’s Taking So Long?!”
image: © istockphoto.com/Sharon Dominick
Patients depend on nurses to keep their healthcare experience a positive one. But we all know that things can get hectic in the medical field. Emergencies and unpredictable accidents can happen on a daily basis which means patients may not always be seen when they thought they would.
Having a patient gripe at you and ask “What’s taking so long?!” can be irritating, especially if you are trying your hardest to make sure everyone is taken care of. It’s in stressful situations like this that it’s sometimes easier to snap instead of calmly explain that you are doing your best.
And the top FIVE (drumroll please)…
thanks for warning me lol
I agree 100%, but would like to add #11 treating your nurse like a waitress or like the patient is staying at a 5 star hotel, you are in a hospital, I am your nurse. Like my favorite saying goes, “Do you want to talk to the doctor in charge, or the nurse who knows what’s going on?”
Thank you so much for the comment on the “I’m just a nurse” page…re: “I’m just an LPN”. I am so sick of people including fellow nurses (RN”S specifically) looking down on me because I am an LPN. I DO NOT want to be an RN. They do way to much paper pushing and supervisory duties. I became a nurse to take care of people. I love my job as a Hospice LPN.
Why the subtle insults toward doctors when comparing doctors to nurses? When someone asks me why didn’t go to medical school, especially since I had the brains and grades for it, I just say, “Because I do not want to do what a doctor does.” Doctors are great, but I like a nurse’s job.
I agree with Ben–it would have been more enjoyable to just read them on one page
(yes, scrolling down in better for me than clicking on 7 different pages)
thanks!
Thanks for the LPN comment. It made me smile.
I appreciate the follow up comment about other nurses not considering an LPN as a nurse. I have reminded several of my RN co-workers, who have made the comment” I am the only nurse here today ,” that I am also a nurse. I work on a Psychiatric unit and am the only one on my shift that can start an IV and also have med/surg experience which is needed frequently.
We have now “unpaginated” this article to bring it down to only two pages.
This is a site FOR nurses, but this list (save for #3) appears to be advice geared toward the layperson NOT in the field. It would be great to have other types of lists/articles/humor more relevant to nurses, eg., What Not to Say to Doctors/Patients/Families, Patients Say the Funnies/Sweetest Things, etc.
Oh! I love that idea! We’ll do it.
Thank you for the comments on the LPN’s, I am an LPN and get looked down upon all the time. My nurse mananger would rather send me home, and run everyone ragged, than to have an extra licensed nurse on the floor. I work in a medical ICU and have been for almost 8 years. I love this!!!!! LPN’s are direct care nurses, why do people feel we are not real nurses??????!!!!!!!!!! I LIKE BEING AN LPN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RN
Registered Nurse
I am a RN, but many of the finest nurses I know are LPN’s.
i am a registered nurse and today we had a skills fair and we were told by a pt therapist to have a waitress mentality when it comes to customer service!! we are not waitresses we are medically, mentally, emotionally trained individuals that can save your life. im not sorry to say that a waitress has no clue as to what we do. obviously neither does the world!
I would like to add “Who is waiting on me today?” or “This is the nurse waiting on me today”. Hopefully this will drop with the aging of our population. It make me grind my teeth even when it is said with a smile.
RN
Registered Nurse
It annoys me that patients are now clients. Now you serve instead of care for?
I absolutely love this! I am a Registered Nurse and would never be a Doctor they do not have the flexibility I have! As a Nurse I can work in any environment. This profession allows me to work from home, can a Doctor do that? NO! A Nurse is not a waitress. Yes, we do serve our patient’s, but we do so much more. We are advocates, Doctors simply Do Not advocate. As Nurse’s we do need to advocate for ourselves as well. We also need to mentor the new nurse(s) to assure that their career is successful. It is our responsibility to be role models. We need to guide and recruit people into our profession. If the misconception of our profession is in the public it is our own fault.
i also wanna say thanks for the LPN comments. We are under appreciated, especially in the hospital. After working in acute care, med surg, and nursing homes for the past 10 years I was already fed up. I now do Private Duty as an LPN, which I actually prefer as to working my but off and being downgraded. Yes, LPNs are nurses too.
Student
Nursing Student (you can change this when you graduate!)
As a new cna, the nurses that respected me the most and helped me when I was overwhelmed were the LPNs. I am now in school for my RN only because I can get better financial aid for it. I think that we (as in all “nursing” staff) are a team to help the patients, and just because one person has more initials after their name it doesn’t make their role any more important.
I loved the LPN comments too. I taught at an LPN program for a while. I heard from an RN educator “LPN’s belong in a nursing home. They have no place in the current hospital setting. I’m glad your organization is phasing them out!” I don’t know why she feels this way. I have had several LPNs recognize changes in OUR patients that I (as a greener than grass RN who worked as the only RN) did not recognize & they saved the patients! I don’t know what I’d have done without them….they saved many lives while I “learned the ropes” out there
I also like the waitress comments. Boy do I feel like a waitress most nights….we have a LOT of patients demanding items all night as if they are calling for room service! I had a patient complain about not getting a very specific soda one night while we were in a code! Management seems to be pushing the waitress attitude more and more; I was not a great waitress in nursing school….
“They don’t have time to be the center of attention because they are always cleaning up a (metaphorical) mess a doctor has left!”
This statement is demeaning to the whole health care team.
I work in an busy ICU, MDs, RNs, PTs, RTs, SW, spiritual, ward clerks and hospital assistants work so close together that everyone is on a first name basis with everyone. I would trust the team with my life, as they would trust me (I always get compliments on my compressions). They look out for us and we look out for them. I hate the phrase “Behind every doctor there is a nurse to save his ass”. Any nurse who says they have not made an error in their career is a liar just like any doctor who says they haven’t.
Anyways, another phrase I hate is “Are you my nurse tonight/today?”
No, you have not hired me as a personal nurse, but I will be the nurse looking after you tonight. (well that’s what I say in my head, I just say the last part of the sentence).
RN
Registered Nurse
Thanks for the only realistic, reasonable thing that has been said in this entire thread, including the article itself. I can’t possibly improve on what you’ve said. You are a credit to the field.
I have a problem with the waitress comments. sorry i have worked as both a waitress and a nurse. both are honorable professions and take special people to fill those shoes( i am a better nurse than i was waitress but i respect the wait person). I am an lpn working on rn. i chose to work as lpn b/c i love patient care. i have no problem calling a doctor when needed nor using my judgement when asked what have you already done for him/her prior to calling. i work in a small hospital so on any given day i may deal with cardiac,respiratory, pediactric, geriatric, psychiatric or terminal patients. I’ve also done nursing home, private duty, and home health nursing. Neither area required less skills than the other. All of them together helped to make me a better nurse. i introduce myself as my patients nurse for the night–that’s my choice of introduction. i am there b/c they CHOSE to be cared for in the hospital i work at rather than go to the next hospital.
I’ve been an LPN for 16 yrs, primarily in the ER. I am almost done with my RN program which I decided to finally take because LPNs are being phased out of my ER. Not to mention I do much of the same work the RNs do and I’d like to be paid for it! Sorry to say there is more opportunity for diversity and advancement as an RN too, at least where I live.
As far as the other comments, I’ve been tempted to wear the T shirt that reads, the H stands for hospital, not hotel. I had an obnoxious diabetic patient demand a diet beverage one day. I brought her the only sugar free drink we had available: WATER. She ended up eloping from the department soon after that!
My favorite “you are NOT a nurse.. you are just an LVN” …what do you think the “N” stands for???
I’ve been an RN for almost 20 years and for the first 7 of those, I lived in an area where they utilized alot of LPNs in the acute setting. I’m not ashamed to admit most of what I learned those yrs were from the LPNS. Thanks for all you taught me.
Nothing worse than having patients or family members make inappropriate comments to you when you are trying to ease their pain and help them get well. I had a patient say to me ” I love hot nurses!!!” What makes them think it’s acceptable to make such comments?
I work in an ICU. BOTH full time Intensivists said at different times, “If I couldn’t be a physician, I would not be in medicine. I could not do what you (nurses) do.”
How about…”Why don’t you answer the call light as fast as they did in ICU?”
I’ve been a nurse for 35 years, am working on a PhD after two Masters in nursing, and as a new nurse, I learned almost all the practical stuff about medicines from the LPN on my unit. Thanks, Susie!
When I’m asked by patients “Why didn’t you go all the way [ become an MD]?” I answer “oh, I did! I’m an NP AND a clinical nurse specialist!” I teach my nursing students to say “Medicine and Nursing are different jobs – and I prefer doing what nurses do!” When we value ourselves and show it, so will the general public.
LPN’s are real nurses, but they are not , at least in our hospital, allowed to perform the same duties as an R.N.. They should not be mad about their pay difference. They don’t have to take “charge”, push IV meds, access or even use a central line, they aren’t allowed to administer blood or chemo. When the supervisor asks” who was their nurse?”, if you answer an LPN’s name, she will ask, “well who was the R.N. covering her. We don’t just push papers or do administrative work. We are in the trenches too!!! But there are times a LPN can say, “I don’t do that”, but, unless it’s a Dr only procedure, I can’t. I love most of the LPN’s I work with , but just like some R.N.’s , some just won’t bust their butt for anyone.
I’m a BSN who is proud to admit that much of my hands-on knowledge came from CNA’s and LPN’s. I started as an LPN, then went on to ADN, then BSN. I enjoy school, so I chose to continue my education to this point. IT DOES NOT MAKE ME A “PAPER PUSHER” OR EVEN A BETTER NURSE FOR THAT MATTER. I do the same work as the other RNs and LPNs I work with. As far as the waitress comment is concerned, as nurses, we are servants. We are serving our patient’s medical, social, spiritual, and physical needs. If you are “too good” to be a servant, then maybe you’ve hardened your heart to what nursing is all about. Mothers “nurse” their infants, it is not coincoidence that the term is the same…we nurture our patients and support them and anticipate growth
I’m just 4 months away from completing my RN program. My mom actually had the nerve to tell me that she thought the ASN program was to short, and if she was ever in the hospital she wanted a “real” BSN nurse to take care of her! I told her too late, last time you were in the hospital I’m willing to bet it was an LPN who took care of you, while the ASN RN did your specialty work and the BSN pushed your papers!
One the N.A.’s I work with said to me tonight,”I wish your were a nurse.” My reply was, “I am a nurse.” She then went on to clarify meaning and R.N.
Funny how LPN’s aren’t considered nurses. We go to school and take a state board to be licensed, too bad many don’t recognise that. I have taught many RN’s skills that they were lacking,durng my years working as an LPN. I am confortable with my postion and proud to be an LPN!
I am a Lpn, been out of school for a year. I work at a nursing home and one day a residents family member asked me a question.I answered her, but she didn’t like me anwser so she asked to speak with the RN on duty. Told her she had left for the day. I called the RN on call asked the question and she gave the same answer as I did. It just old people wanting to talk to the RN in charge. I can anwser their question just as well as the RN can and if i don’t know the answer I will find out.
I found it disconcerting that so many of the LPN/LVNs have experienced such discrimination. In the Deep South there is more of a move BACK to 2-year Associate Degree programs through the technical and community colleges because of the very real shortage of RNs.
While I have always encouraged LPNs to go back for the one more year in order to become RNs in order to increase their options and income potential, I have also been known to pick a knowledgeable and skilled LPN or PCT/Nursing Assistant OVER another RN in a specialty care ICU because the one which I chose ‘knew the territory’ and was of greater assistance than having an RN who did not.
I’ve found that the best teachers are LPN’s, and not always RN’s. A nurse is a nurse, no matter what their specific letters are. I don’t care if you’re an LPN, RN, ADN, BSN or MSN. We all take care of patients, and help each other out.
I am an RN in the emergency room and when I saw the “what’s taking so long” I was like UGH! Because I hear that almost every night. Why is it taking so long to get my _____ upstairs? Because your loved one is not the only patient I have! Some are more critical. eh.
I worked in the PACU and hated when the pts woke up looked at me and said I must have died and gone to heaven…uggh or U look just like an angel….then ofcour hey puked all over me from the anesthesia! What a way to spread the love!!!!! People have no idea ehat we do..Or the comment u don’t look very busy esp when coming from a Doc….ow he hck do u know wht it wil be like 5 seconds from now???
Does it help to know that the same descrimination occurs in education? It didn’t matter that I already had a bachelors before entering a Master of Arts in Education; some teachers looked down on what I taught, Family & Consumer Science classes, making me feel as if I weren’t a real teacher because I didn’t teach a “core” class. Sorry to hear that haapens in the med field as well. By the way, I stopped teaching, for many reasons, and have begun my training towards an RN certification.
Why is it taking so long? I only wish the public actually knew that 8 people cannot get meds given by one nurse at precisely 8 AM. Not to mention how slow the computers are at times and that we don’t just give little yellow or big blue pills. We have to know each person’s vitals signs, lab values, and perform at least some kind of assessment before giving them,, plus we have to know what the drug is, what to do if it causes an adverse reaction,etc, On top of calling Docs for extra pain med orders and taking people to the bathroom, and removing and restarting an IV that infiltrated. Oh yeah, If we get an admission at that time we have to initiate all the orders and Core Measures before the patient can get treated at all. ( CPOE ). Then there are those stubborn bar codes that won’t scan or the little elderly lady who enjoys chatting and has to take each of her 26 pills one at a time. And….. just trying to find out which hospitalist is seeing the patient that day can be stressful. I once had to call 4 different Drs just to get a diet order so my early admit could have something for breakfast. SO THAT IS WHY IT SOMETIMES TAKES SO LONG!
There is a great push in the institution where I work for every RN to earn their BSN. At the moment, I’m juggling a full-time job, a 2-year-old, a husband who’s going back to school (for his RN, incidentally), and very little support from family, so I’m perfectly content with “only” being a RN. The hospital would like to get their Magnet designation. Well, i say quit barking up all the wrong trees – there is so much more work to be done besides RNs getting their BSNs, such as people in the OR charting all of their I&Os and administered meds, and treating the “floor nurses” as co-workers and not obstacles! It amazes me how nurses can be so contrary towards one another when thing would go so much more smoothly if we ALL WORKED TOGETHER!
I’m an LPN, too, and have been for 34 years. I’ve looked into a few RN programs over the years, as recently as a year ago. What I have found is the same everywhere: My experience counts for almost nothing. I spent 17 years working in acute psychiatric settings, but I am expected to sit in a classroom to learn some instructor’s take on psych nursing. Plus go get “clinical experience” for a job I did for over a decade and a half!
The other 17 years of my carreer have been in med/surg, ICUs, CCUs, ERs, and Rehab, but none of that counts, either. I’ve forgotten more about real nursing than most of the MSN “instructors” (most of whom spent little, if any, time doing bedside nursing).
So, state, NLN and ANA boards? how about it? You want everyone to be RNs, right? Fine. Give experienced LPNs like me more credit for actually DOING the job you claim you want us to learn.
Thank you! I have been an LPN I am working on the RN and all I hear is “you are SO smart why are you ONLY becoming a nurse? Why not become a Doctor” my response is “Well then I will be one super smart nurse huh?”
I’m so tired of being asked why I didnt chose med school. Here’s a news flash…Nurse’s and Dr’s do different jobs!! And I happen to like the Nurses job better. I have nothing against the Doc’s in fact I love working with them and do my best not to foster that Dr/Nurse animosity that people always talk about. But I simply dont want to do a Doc’s job.
Oh yeah and it’s NOT because I dont want the responsibility or because med school took too long or was too hard…I just LOVE being a nurse.
sheesh.. infighting amongst nurses even here. sigh.
BSNs and ADNs and diploma RNs all do the same job for the most part unless they are the unit managers.
we have to maintain a servant;s heart to do this job properly… and to be honest, most of those comments aren’t terrible offensive (except for the one re: LPNs and why aren’t you a doc) thicker skin is needed anytime you deal with the public. ha.. I wouldn’t mind being a heeeyyy nurse every once in a while!
RN
Registered Nurse
Great attitude, Karen. Apparently you know how to see things realistically. How refreshing.
I am also an LPN, and have been for 33 yrs. I can not believe the attitude of the RN’s that are suppose to be an educated person. I started out as an CNA and loved it so much, that I went on. I have worked in most all of the units in a Hospital, Psych, Nursing Home Private Duty….you name it, and for the RN that said LPN’s should stick to Nursing Homes, has obviously never worked in one. I have taught RN’s how to hang tube feedings cause they had never done it, I have taught RN’s in the Hospital trach care cause they didn’t know that either. I also have seen RN’s that worked ICU in the Hospital, and they made serious mistakes in the Nursing Home setting, which is a difficult job to do, and more work than a Hospital nurse has to do. If you get to leave on time, and not work 12 hrs instead of 8, and take care of up to 60 pts doing tx, meds, DO, charting for sometimes more than half of your pts, and can’t leave till you do, feed pts, and deal with unruly CNA’s, and take care of the bed sores that pts receive while in the Hospital, cause RN’s are sometimes too busy or to good to do pt care, THEN you can tell me you are a better nurse than me. And RN’s are quick to blame their short-comings on the(lowly) LPN. I had an RN who was supposedly over me, tell me to do something, and I did not agree, and she was going to write me up, so I did it…and she was wrong, and I got in trouble, cause she denied she had told me to do it. So don’t tell me about the glorious rn, that thinks she is holier than thou, I am tired of hearing it. We are all humans, and I agree with the RN that said we are suppose to be servants, and do as we were sent there to do, and not be too good to empty a bedpan or urinal. I think that was the original reason Florence Nightingale started the ministry of nursing, not to belittle others….but to serve!!So get off of your high horse, it is childish, and not very professional!!!!!
I have worked with RN’s that say “your only an LPN,” then when I tell them, this only LPN can go home, if they don’t want my help, they say oh no…. and shut up!!
We are all nurses regardless of our designation. I have been an LPN for 25 yrs and love what I do. Yes it is offensive when some asks to speak to a “real” nurse but we all need to be thick skinned and politely educate the public about our profession. I am proud to say both my daughters have decided to enter the medical profession. One is working on her BN and the other wants to be a MD. Different choices for different people. So proud of them both
After all the years they have lived with a nurse, they still chose this path! Can you imagine that? 
APN
Advanced Practice Nurse CRNAs, CNMs, CNSs and NPs
A father of one of my patients asked me, “So, are you going to go on to become a doctor?” I told him that (1) nurssing and medicine are two different careers, (2) I held a PhD degree and that I worked much harder for that than any physician did for an MD degree and (3) if physicians really wanted to know about their patients, they should go to nursing school. I had already built a rapport with him, so he accepted what I had to say without feeling insulted. But gee-ee-ee-ee-eez!
When a little child saw me in the grocery store in my scrubs and with my stethescope, he said “Look, Mommy, there’s a doctor!” . I told him I was better than that, I was a nurse.
RN
Registered Nurse
#2: Yeah right why is there a shortage of nurses then? Not many can finish the classwork it takes to become a nurse, let alone work as one!
#1: Oh yeah, by the way, working on my doctorate, IN NURSING! For some reason, a doctorate in nursing would be the best choice for me, why?, because I love nurses!
RN
Registered Nurse
I get quite annoyed when men say to me, a man, “I wouldn’t let you nurse me!!” They seem happy enough to accept care when the chips are down.
RN
Registered Nurse
It’s sad that you’ve heard that from men. Also a male RN, I’ve been fortunate to have had male patients who were, for the most part, a pleasure to take care of. Except for the occasional dementia patient, who probably gives ALL nurses a hard time, I’ve manage to strike up a great rapport with my male pts.
RN
Registered Nurse
This article is about as far from reality as you can get. It could have been written in the 50′s and been more accurate, but only a little. Why would anyone want to dwell on out-dated ideas and then present them as though they were the way things are now? No wonder we have such a hard time being treated as professionals.
RN
Registered Nurse
What world do you live in, Russ? I’ve been a nurse for 20 years, have worked just about everywhere a nurse can work, and have heard all the things that were put in the article numerous times with numerous variations. I don’t think the article was meant to “dwell on” the negativity, but rather as a humorous “venting” on the extremes of public perception of our profession.
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These are great, and I have no doubt that nurses feel like every nerve has been touched.
However, what about the patient? They are not all like 1-10. A growing number of people are using the ER for simple scrapes and perhaps an ingrown toenail. If that is 80% of what you see, where does the left over bedside manner go for those of us that really DO NOT want to be there?
Here is a list of 10 things nurses need to understand from the patient’s point of view.
1) The majority of patients do not want to be there.
2) An ER department can only do so much. Leaving people in the waiting room for hours upon end does nothing but piss off the receptionist.
3) No one visits the ER on their best day. Therefore, opinions need to be kept inside. Laughing and giggling while whisking a patient through what ends up being an expensive “parking” area, does nothing to extend understanding toward the Nursing Field. Patients can hear, and I guarantee they are less than enthused about you buying those cute little Penguin scrubs.
4) Keep notes. There is nothing quite as disconcerting as having a nurse come in asking for some other bodily fluid, and check her notes and say, “I’m sorry”. Makes the patient feel as if they came in for removal of the spleen, they could just as easily been thrust into surgery for removal of a kidney.
Nursing has got to be one of the most difficult jobs in the world. Not many have the capacity of caring to extend beyond their social circles. Just please remember, not every ER patient is trying to bilk the system. And in a life or death moment, we could care less if you have penguins or puppies on your top.