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11 nursing diagnoses that don’t exist…but ought to

iStockphoto | ThinkStock + Scrubs

iStockphoto | ThinkStock + Scrubs

Sure, nurses diagnose patients all the time…but have you ever felt like you needed to diagnose yourself? Sometimes your shift (or week, or month) is just that crazy!

We came up with 11 funny nurse diagnoses that don’t exist yet; we’ve got a feeling that you need to start diagnosing yourself and taking appropriate relief measures, STAT (chocolate, anyone?)!

11 nursing diagnoses that don’t exist…but ought to

1. Grumpiness, exacerbated by…
a. sleeplessness
b. hunger
c. full bladder
d. all of the above

2. Stress Overload (this one actually does exist!)

3. Chocolate Deficit

4. Caffeine Deficit

5. Vacation Deficit

6. Irritation, secondary to fire drill called in the middle of a dressing change

7. Inadequate Ventilation (in the air-conditioner sense, not in the respiratory sense)

8. Incomplete Meal Consumption

9. Screeching Beeper

10. Ill-Fitting Scrubs

And finally…

11. Risk for Impaired Interaction with Upper Management

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11 Responses to 11 nursing diagnoses that don’t exist…but ought to

  1. florida town

    Whaddaya mean caffeine deficiency isn’t a real complaint! Don’t tell me that. Especially first thing in the morning…..

  2. crowdergirl04

    Analglaucoma…..I dont see my butt making it in today. …

  3. DeputyJo

    lazyitis

  4. sewbabe51

    Looking to get back into my career after 10 yrs. recovering from illness. I need to get up to speed on continuing education.

  5. pcajun

    all too true

  6. Sister1956

    Pregnancy related to immaculate contraception.

  7. Adenams

    How about…
    Frustration r/t overuse of inappropriate call light request q 5 minutes.

    • Gerinurse64

      This happens to me ALL the time. I’m a LPN @ a Rehab/LTC facility. Some of the res. think we are there 1:1 for them…families too. I try to explain, I have many res. to take care of. It’s not that they are less important to me, there are res. that require much more care. I had a res. turn her call light on & asked me if her Dr. appt. was on the calendar…this was @ 0300! Some can do more for themselves, but refuse to. I really LOVE what I do, but some things do irritate me more than other things.

  8. ghenny

    Encontré la página con la que me identificó correctamente

  9. Goober55

    I Love # 1 and # 11 the most! From now on, when I can not seem to get my managers to understand what is really happening I have an entirely new way to Diagnose the problem with them! LOLOLOL!!!

  10. R. Vincent L.p.n

    Acute practitioner deafness secondary to pt daughter in nursing school

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