12 regrettable Halloween costumes for nurses
As a nurse, there’s probably no costume you could run into on Halloween that’s worse than the stuff you see in real life on the job.
All those people who watch The Walking Dead would run screaming in horror if they spent a single shift in the average emergency room or got an up-close look at a bed sore.
However, there are still some Halloween costumes that will probably make even the most seasoned nurse a little queasy. We’ve compiled a dirty dozen here, some suggested by real-life nurses and others from the unending compendium of trashy medical-themed costumes online.
Slutty RNs to Infinity
With so many to choose from, we couldn’t possibly pick just one. It’s enormously annoying to work in a profession that gets so routinely fetishized. Only librarians have it worse—and at least they get to go around telling people to “shush!” at their job. Also, inquiring minds want to know: Why is it that all the “adult”-themed costumes only have enough fabric to cover a small child?
If you’re an OR nurse, this is probably not a costume to wear where the doctors you work with can see it. Surgeons tend not to have much of a sense of humor at the best of times. Being compared to a crazed butcher wielding a bizarre assortment of what appear to be ancient farming implements won’t make them feel warm and fuzzy!
My, My Murse
Well, at least there is one of these out there to counterbalance the thousands of slutty female nurse outfits. We hope they aren’t charging too much for this one, since it’s kind of…brief. They couldn’t even get the guy wearing the thing to smile at this photo shoot. He’s thinking, I know I’m an underwear model, but I do have standards!
In all honesty, this one is pretty cool from a purely scientific standpoint (and gives one a whole new layer of appreciation for Heidi Klum). If you enjoyed visiting “Bodies, the Exhibition” with all those well-preserved humans, this might be the costume for you. Just stay far, far away from small children. Their parents will never be able to convince them that there is no Boogeyman in the closet if they see this walking, talking monstrosity in real life.
For the Boys
This outfit takes the sexy soldier meme and the sexy nurse meme and rolls them up into a tasteless little Tootsie Roll of Halloween costume hell. Women still have far too much trouble getting the respect they deserve in both military and healthcare jobs, and this stuff isn’t helping. The designers and manufacturers of this garbage should bear in mind the main thing nurses and soldiers have in common—they can kill you!