5 lines I never want to hear on the job again
Consider this my public service announcement to patients and their families! Here are the five lines I never, ever want to hear at work again…
5. As I’m getting ready to administer IV pain medication, some wag in the room pipes up with, “Hey, Nurse! Give me some of that, willya?”
Friend, if anybody’s going to be getting pain medication besides the person in the bed, it will be this girl right here.
4. Usually from a nice, elderly person of either sex: “Don’t you think Doctor X is cute?” Doctor X is at the bedside.
3. “Boy, I’ll bet it’s nice, only having to work three days a week/I hear nurses make a ton of money.”
If I worked more than three days a week, I wouldn’t have any teeth left. They’d all be ground away. As for money, there are not yet tax breaks for being amazing, so no, not really.
2. Again, usually from an elderly person: “I miss the caps and skirts nurses used to wear.”
That’s obviously from a person who’s never tried to climb on a bed in a skirt, and who’s never had a cap fall into a sterile field. I reply that we tried to bring skirts back, but the male nurses complained.
And the Number One Thing I Never Want To Hear Again:
“You’re too smart to be a nurse.”
Hold on a second and let me see if I can’t find somebody stupid to titrate this medication, then.
SEE MORE IN:
Fun & Humor
Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at email@example.com.
By Agatha Lellis