image: © istockphoto.com/Tomasz Wojnarowicz
Have you ever uttered one of these phrases to a female nurse before? I’m not going to say I did…but you won’t be hearing me say them any time in the future. This is all fun and games, of course (except for maybe #1, let’s be honest)!
1. Bad hair day today?
This is not just because yours truly has no hair (although it doesn’t help). It’s all fun and games until the ‘hair’ card is pulled – then it’s a no-holds-barred war over why you think their hair looks bad. Did it always look bad? Is it the color? Is it too short? Is it too long? Should it be pulled up?… (this list is endless) 
2. Is it that time of the month?
This should only be said from afar. If you’re close enough to be hit- you will be. ‘Nuff said.
3. Oh! Hey? Do you have makeup on?
This comment ranks up there with the hair comment. The fact that you have noticed something about their complexion will start a river of questions concerning whether or not they have always looked bad and why haven’t you said something before.
4. Do those match?
I always love the ‘void of knowledge’ most male nurses – heck, most men – have when it comes to matching. Oh – wait, maybe this is just me?
5. There’s no crying in nursing.
Yes this is stolen – have you seen the movie “A League of Their Own?” You gotta love Tom Hanks. And this can be quite debilitating. Be careful.
Of course this is all in fun. Don’t take any of this seriously, nor think for one second I or other male nurses would actually these mean and horrible things. It’s just fun knowing that we men working in an obviously female-dominated profession have a good grasp on our co-workers sensitivities.
It’s kind of like a married man knowing what to say and what NOT to say to his loving wife.
Right?
This is a fun post. An interesting iteration on what not to say to any woman… I will write about this in my blog.
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RN
Registered Nurse
LOL
Unfortunately, I have had male nurses say some of those to me!!!! They obviously didn’t read your blog.
And also to the many female MD’s we have on the floors now. It’s great to see some of the last stereotypes slowly ebb in the new health care. The other day I was working over at the VA with 5 women MD’s and 2 other men in Nursing. It was great! The team was awesome…as we turned a few heads. And the next day we were just as good.
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@ Male Nurse Glad you liked it!
@ Rebekah Well make sure they read it now! Sorry.
@ Harry Glad to hear.
As I guy in this line of work for 19 years, I take the same line of thought as I do in communication with my wife of 25 years: If it’s not nice or complimentary, don’t even bother saying it. Even well intended critiques from men go over like a fart on a submarine with women.
As an aside, the one thing that never ceases to amaze me, as a man in this line of work, is just how much personal stuff women will discuss at break time even with me within earshot.(Way too much info on dating, sex life with hubby and GYN-related issues)
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@ Steve LOL.. We could share some stories my friend! Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
LOL!! Those were awesome – especially the section on matching. I think men cant pull off matching scrubs as it just doesnt work for us – so lets stick to dark brown bottoms and tops or black bottoms and tops and leave the matching to our better looking female coworkers
Oh, and saying Anything about make-up/hair/looks to any woman should be done with caution and only when prepared to answer a myriad of questions as to WHY you even said anything…
Ration of men to women on my floor is 3:18 – ohhh yeaa
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@ Valentine Hee hee.
I’ve said ALL those things and Worse! Still have made friends. Nurses are peculiar (special) people.
Yeah! I’ll be showing this list to my male classmates.
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@ Ana I’d love to see their faces! Heh heh.
I think i say at least 1 of those things on a daily basis. I get smacked a lot.
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@ Dan Oh I can only imagine. LOL
In the hospital where I have worked for last 21 yrs, no male would even try such stupid comments, and if he made them, the female would report him correctly, not slap him. Its not Burger King. We’re all adults.
I don’t appreciate the cutsey tone of the article, as if every female medical professional is obsessed with her hair, make up and so on, and the males flirting or trying to score points. There are the rare exceptions, who seldom last long.
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@ Marie As I said in the post (and evident by others comments) – it was meant to be in fun. Yes the cutesy tone was on purpose. I’m sorry you didn’t find the post enjoyable. Thank you for your comment.
Lots of stereotypes in this little article. Does the fact that I can actually match my own clothes and make good looking outfits mean there is something wrong with me?
You forgot that biggest thing we nurses of the male gender-type say that gets us in trouble.. “Women” That one word gets me in more trouble at work then anything else I do or say.
@ Marie – evidently sense of humor is optional where you work. it’s a requirement where I work – w/ every 500 hr tune ups of said SoH
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@ Nurse Rat-chet LOL – too funny.
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@ Alan No. It’s all in fun. Thanks for commenting!
My all time favorite is when you wear regular dress clothes and a guy looks at you and says ” I never seen you with clothes on” a doctor said this to me once, the nurses’ station got very quite and then when he walked away there were lots of hoots!
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@ Melanie – I have said and thought something similar. I’ve learned over the years to make sure and add ‘regular’ clothes. LOL
I’m a male nurse in a dialysis clinic when I got several times to handle new patient admission. On one instance, on our first meeting with this fine old lady, she address me as a doctor. I corrected her saying that i’m a nurse and i’m going to take good care of her, she quickly replied ” My apology, so you’re a nurse, doc?”
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@ Ritchie Heh heh. Thanks for sharing that humor.
you have forgotten the sixth never ask question . ” are you pregnant ? ” as i am not yet a nurse, i cant comment on nurses ,but will be soon . i have seen guys dumb enough to ask this question get that swift kick that all mothers teach their daughters at a very young age . funny man
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@ wes I can’t say I would have thought of that one. Whew…
I found your article to be entertaining and right on. I am wondering about one gender nursing thing, I do not know that I have ever met a male hospice nurse. Any thoughts?
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@ Patsy Sorry, no thoughts on that one. Glad you like the post.