See the current issue of Scrubs Magazine

A nurse’s New Year’s resolutions

iStockphoto | Thinkstock

2011 is here.  That means it’s time to make your resolutions! We’ve polled some of our favorite nurses to see what they’re planning to do to make 2011 the Best Year Ever. Here are the results:

●     I will give up chocolate. Really. Honest. Why is everybody laughing?

●     I will stop blaming my electronic charting errors on magnetic storms and nearby lightning.

●     I will not bore my NM by calling in with the same old excuse. I will come up with creative, exciting reasons why I can’t make it in to work.

●     I will grow into my weight. By December 2011, I expect to be 9 feet tall.

●     I will stop looking for arcane wisdom hidden in my patients’ tattoos.

●     I will refrain from sneering at anyone who has more than five body piercings but claims to be afraid of needles.

●     I will never give a laxative and a sleeping pill to a patient at the same time. Even if I’m going off duty immediately thereafter.

●     I will no longer shout “Hooray!” and throw confetti when a PITA decides to go AMA. At least not where anyone can see me.

●     The words “Hey, we could all use a little diversion around here” will never come out of my mouth again.

●     I will buy all of my lotto tickets at a luckier store—and finally get the clerk to give me my money back for all the defective tickets I bought before!

What’s your New Year’s resolution?

, ,


The Journal of Nursing Jocularity’s quarterly publication for nurses (Spring 1991 - Spring 1998) was written, edited, illustrated and published by nurses and health professionals. Filled with satire, true stories, cartoons, and all around funny stuff related to nursing and health care – it established its place in nursing history as the only humor magazine for nurses. You can now find the JNJ online at

Post a Comment

You must or register to post a comment.

3 Responses to A nurse’s New Year’s resolutions

  1. That’s good stuff…I can’t grow into my weight though, I’m already somewhat Amazon so growing isn’t really an option. I just have to lose the weight! 😉

  2. I’ll have to lose weight as well, but this seems to be the hardest thing to do in my list. I’m still hopeful, though.

  3. renee

    I vow to start making the docs I work with more accountable for their actions and their lack of action, even if it means reporting them to my manager or theirs!