Even though last week’s return to the floor was more successful that I had thought it would be, I am the type of person who easily forgets the positive, and dwells on the things that made me nervous. Or at least I used to be. When I am on the floor, I get this rush of adrenaline that keeps me motivated and keeps me going. But despite the good parts of the day (unless the day was 100% stupendous), I tend to remember those things that I know I need to work on, the things that I need to do a better job of next time. And it’s not a bad thing, I feel like it keeps me focused on the things that I need to improve, and it’s a reminder for next time. But lately I’ve been feeling like I don’t give myself enough credit when it comes to remembering the positive parts of the day. Until now.
I have decided that this is going to be the quarter of confidence. After all, I am a third year student! If I don’t know what I am doing – then what have I been doing for the last 2 1/2 years – right? I had this week off from the clinical floor, but I did go to my community clinical where I am working with 5-13 year old kids and health promotion teaching. Being with them, talking with them, even for the short amount of time that I did, I remembered why I love working with kids so much, and it reminded me of how much I know about kids. How they get excited when talking about their favorite foods, and how they mimic what you say because they think it’s “cool.” Working with them gave me the boost I needed to feel confident about what I know and what I am able to do.
So now I am determined to keep this boost of confidence flowing through my veins, giving me the energy I need to stay focused, and determined. I’m going to focus on the positive things that I’ve done for my patients, and take everything else – good and bad, happy, and sad – as a learning experience. I have to remind myself that I am a student, and that I am a good student, and a good student nurse. The next goal? To stay this positive into next week’s test and another day on the floor!