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Answer this question about nursing and WIN a $100 Amazon gift card!!

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Unleash your best puns, jokes, myths, ironic observations, stories and other odd bits of wry wisdom about nursing! The Scrubs editors will pick the best one and award a $100 Amazon gift card to the lucky nurse! All you have to do is finish this sentence:

The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is…

Leave your answer in the comments and you’re entered to win! The lucky winner will be announced on December 1st, 2012!

“Forensic Pathologist fishes a body out of a river and knows right away it’s a nurse. Why? The stomach was empty, the bladder full, and the a** completely chewed off!” — Theresa Brown, RN

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57 Responses to Answer this question about nursing and WIN a $100 Amazon gift card!!

  1. Aline Student

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is being viewed by others in the healthcare field as a valued and indispensable team member!

  2. laurtren

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is the blend of cultures and ideas we’re exposed to. It’s not even just a mixture of ethinicities, but the blending of ages, genders, and so forth. With so many of today’s modern nurses being younger (and the increasing amount of men in this profession), and so many of today’s patients being older, it has created a gap between patients and nurses. The clash of ideas, as well as how patients believe they should be taken care of and how technology has become such an intricate part of medicine has lead us to a very unique and fast changing environment for the moden nurses of today.

  3. Melanieg

    He will either get worse or get better

  4. vaclarkclan RN

    Having the responsibilities of life and death yet watching as all the credit goes to the doctors. Being okay with it because you know the true heroes are the hidden ones!

  5. kewljul

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is being amazed by the new things you learn, hear and experience as you go through your day to day work and life.

  6. JoyJohnson

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is the level of multi-tasking that it requires. Where else does a typical day of work involve having a therapeutic conversation with a completely naked man who is standing in a karate chop position while you speak with his doctor on the phone for verbal medication orders? Yes. I would in fact be a psych nurse:)

  7. mg13157 LPN

    How quick society is string up a nurse after any major error… but we’ll never hear about how that error may have occurred at the end of a 16 hour – mandatory overtime – shift while being chewed by a manager for not making to an inservice on handwashing. I never judge a nurse that society is crucifying in the media because that could be any of us someday.

  8. rayest Student

    The most outrageous thing about being a nurse is being able to touch another man’s genitalia and it not be considered cheating! 😉

  9. rn4randy

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is..that the pateint will not beileve any thing I tell them…never tell me the truth.and 5 mins before the Doc enters the room will tell me they just can’t stand the pain!!! then tell him they are doing GREAT!

  10. TG

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is:
    Even though we don’t get breaks, terrible schedules, work on family holidays,cry at work, we keep getting up and going back to be there for others

  11. SarahP RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a nurse is keeping a straight face when another healthcare worker asks me to do something that is just impossible and should be blatantly obvious about its impossibility. For instance, a radiology tech once asked me to “straighten out” a child with severe contractures and scoliosis related to cerebral palsy. Another time a tech asked me to turn off the ventilator because it was interferring with the EEG she was performing. YIKES! I might be superwoman and a jack-of-all-trades, but I can’t do either of those no matter how nicely I’m asked. :-)

  12. The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is that people actually think that I got in to this profession for the MONEY!!! It is a calling people!!!!! It gets in your blood, your mind, your heart…..at least for me it does….If I was looking for a career that is money centered, I would have went for lawyer, doctor or something totally illegal….just sayin….

  13. psandjs RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is discovering that all bleeding stops…eventually. And also coming to the conclusion that just about anybody can be a doctor. Oy vey!

  14. nancee bennett Caption Contest

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is…. with advancement in scientific medical technology our role as a Professional Nurse has changed. As healthcare providers, it is important we not forget our “Roots” from those that preceeded our path.
    Hundreds of years ago, mid-wives were burnt on the stake for practicing medicine, thought to be witches. In the 1800’s, it was considered distasteful and family dishonor for a well breed, proper, sophisticated female to perform nursing care, in particular to the male gender. Such practices of providing personal hygiene and handling body waste products were considered a disgrace.
    We’ve come a long way since then. Today nursing is considered a valued and respected profession, it rightly deserves. Advancement in educational standards and technology certification equips todays nurse to meet the demands of our changing healthcare system and provide excellence in nursing care.

  15. Malenurse1 RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is…occasionally needing to reminder the ladies I work with that there IS a man in the room when they start going into a little TOO graphic detail about their personal lives. I shouldn’t know which ones are on the same menstrual cycle or which ones prefer to “go commando”.
    Love them all dearly though and wouldn’t trade them for the world!

  16. tlove1968 RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a nurse is that if there was a zombie apocolypse and new nurses didn’t have all this technology they wouldn’t know how to figure out how to actually leave the next nurse a note that accurately describes who and what there patient looks like and the care he needs or accurately describe anything to the doc.

  17. SoleyRN

    ..that not only do WE know more about our patients than the doctors, the patients know it now, too!

  18. StephanieRN

    Others in healthcare know that many nurses, “still eat their young”. We should be known for something better, we are nurses.

  19. AmUsed LPN

    The fact that sputum is the only thing that REALLY grosses us out…but not enough to keep anyone from eating 6 hour old Krispy Kremes left at the nursing station.

  20. melly

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is….. many things are still stuck in the “olden” days. Still not much respect from the docs. Administration still doesn’t REALLY listen. The work we do is still taken for granted……. and the list goes on!

  21. alocke

    Watching a mom unexpectedly decide to breast feed her newborn son (who surprise, is crying) while he is being circumcised and even better, watching the obstetrician’s face as he skillfully circumvents the “food source” as he completes the procedure!

  22. jewelofmind LPN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is… Our utility belts have half the gadgets of Batman’s and yet nurses still save more lives.

  23. ksokia

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is that it is the only profession that requires you to have a College degree while part of your job description still includes bedbaths, bedpans and bedside delivery (drinks, snacks, pencils, tissues). I go from evaluating labs, conferring with doctors, giving complex medications safely and observing for the first signs of a change in condition to mopping the floor , changing TV stations and crawling on the floor looking for hearing aids, glasses or false teeth.

  24. Terri CNA

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is that the good outcomes always outweighs the bad outcomes. The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is they have to have multiple personalitites from compassionate, to strong and just being able to love your most hateful to most loving patients. Most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is not the money but loving your job. The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is that it takes a very special person.

  25. gtrottman Student

    patients have no patience, remaing cool while they vent

  26. waltersren RN

    The most outrageous thing about being modern nurse is doing all our charting on the computer and most of your 12 hour shift consists of charting!

  27. Kim4 RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is having a 250 lb psychotic patient listen to you and follow your directions while your 6 year old just ignores you.

  28. Wendykay

    the overwhelming amount of “thank yous” from strangers and the lack of them from co-workers.

  29. Wendykay

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is… being able to curve my hand around a femur that’s exposed from a bed sore

  30. cat5555

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is…we are still expected to FLOAT to other units, like hired hands instead of PROFESSIONALS. OUTRAGEOUS and NOT FUNNY!

  31. skiellach RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is that your life’s schedule is not your own! You learn to do more with less, and that takes more time for less pay. But, ah, the rewards of working with patients is our great compensation. And that’s why we do what we do, despite the lack of support that is so often faced.

  32. schandler0001 APN

    The most outrageous thing about being a “modern” nurse is we’ve returned to our roots of yesterday by treating the patient holistically. :)

  33. antares620 RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is I dress in what looks like gift wrap(pediatric themed/holiday scrubs) everyday for work .

  34. skeeter RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is…that we know and teach our patients how to eat healthy, exercise, reduce stress, get plenty of rest, etc…. but we are too busy to do it ourselves!!!

  35. msteinway

    The best thing about being a modern day nurse is that I am a MALE and I was giving showers one night and a female patient stated that she really did not want me to give her the shower as she had never had a male touch her with the exception of her deceased husband. I told her that I could find a female to give the shower but it might be a while. She finally agreed and I gave her the shower. When she was done and I had her dressed again I rolled her out in her wheel chair and she looked up and me and stated that it was the best shower that she had ever gotten in the home she was in. Needless to say from that day forward word got out and all the ladies in the retirement home wanted me to give the shower. Sometimes it just takes someone who with compassion for the elderly (or Nursing) to take care of our patients.
    Mike

  36. wenlynn6@yahoo.com

    The most outrages thing is how some patients forget that we ARE humans, not fairy godmothers with magic wands!

  37. bamaguy51

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is the disrespect we get from some physicians. We are with these patients for 8 hours a day, for 7 days and the docs spend about 2-3 minutes a day with these patients.

  38. Abby Student

    The most outrageous thing being modern nursing student is that by the time I graduate my AAS program, entry level jobs will require a BSN or more, and if I choose to become an NP, only doctoral programs will be offered in New York State. They talk about a nursing shortage, but their not hiring. Associates programs are still offered, but chances of getting the jobs are so slim. In NYC, the city hospitals offer an LPN program, but their phasing out LPNs and Associates level nurses. In sociology this is called “degree inflation”

  39. rn92nurse

    The most outrageous thing about being a nurse is that when you get home and your significant other has “that look” and you think you may want to as well, but when they start to take your hair down, you discover that needle cap that flew somewhere today has been lodged in your hair all day, that you have on “work underwear” your socks have holes in them because after all who at work is going to see you in your sock feet, and most important you rest your head on his/her chest only to find yourself listening to breath sounds and trying to determine if it they have a heart murmur or not!

  40. Abby Student

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is that when disaster strikes, you need to be able to do everything you usually do, minus technology. I want to give special kudos to all the brave and heroic nurses who evacuated hospitals during Hurricane Sandy. If you read the stories, there were nurses carrying neonates down many flights of steps while mechanically ventilating them because they couln’t breathe spontaneously. Also, to all those nurses who were mandated shifts because of short staffing during the hurricane, you have my highest level of admiration.

  41. CBRATTS7

    The mot outrageous thing about being a nurse is that at 2 :00 in the morning you can change a patient after they had a bowel movement all over them while they are vomiting then go and eat your supper and never be grossed out. Knowing that you have also touched someones life in a positive way. Also when you walk in a store with your family and random people approach you telling you thanks for all you did and your children look at you and say mommy you must be a really great nurse because people are always saying thanks to you.

  42. bbotwin Student

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is seeing new life and death every day and then going home to your family and having to act like your world didn’t get shaken every minute of your shift.

  43. swilcox RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a nurse in the modern age is more and more tasks are required of us to keep the hospital accredidators happy therefore, the time we should be giving to our patients are going to these ridiculous tasks! And our unit score depends on how many of our patients turn in their patient satisfaction surveys, therefore that regulates our staffing numbers!! Again, the patients suffer!!

  44. swilcox RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a nurse in the modern age is more and more tasks are required of us to keep the hospital accredidators and our unit score depends on how many of our patients remember to turn in their patient satisfaction surveys, therefore that regulates our staffing numbers!! Again, the patients suffer!!

  45. ccrn162

    that despite all the technology, all the demands, I still feel honored to walk this sacred journey with patients after 25 years.

  46. LLKoolNurse

    Nothing EVER surprises you!

  47. doug723f

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is that I still get mistaken every day in the ER as the Doctor even though i correct the patients and their families they still call me the doctor sometimes. I love being a male nurse, just please accept me as a nurse and not a doctor.

  48. ewerner

    …insurance companies filling the hearses.

  49. nursingtodo11 RN

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is having your new boss tell you (upon accepting the position) that she will text you once everything is good to go. Ummm, ok?

  50. rnauthor Caption Contest

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is responding immediately to the arrival of an ambulance to the ER with a severe chest pain on board, then to have that pt ask you to turn the TV on to channel 7 as soon as they are in the bed. They then begin groaning in severe pain again.

  51. denpowel625 LPN

    still having the stigma we are the slaves to people when we are hear to help them get better and return to a somewhat normal life, but how can we truthfully say that is doable when the patient will not even go to the bathroom alone, or order their food by themselves, or even attempt to move in the bed.

  52. chicagobennie

    Modern Nurses have far less time to actually get to know the patient. We used to be able to learn about the patient and spot the subtle changes that could indicate a problem.

  53. compassionateaboutnursing

    The most outrageous thing about being a modern nurse is the simple fact that Corporations look at census numbers, not acquity level of patients when deciding on staffing….this is a major safety issue in a nursing home, somebody is going to be seriously hurt, whether it’s staff or a patient. We don’t have enough time to spend with the patients to get to know them because we are short staffed. I love being a nurse but I sure hate the politics of it….Everyone had great comments, I could say “hell yeah,” to most of them. I feel nurses treat the patient, DR’s treat the disease. just my opinion!!! Happy Nursing!

  54. Granny RN RN

    …the accepted mentality that says all things must be changed, even if they result in the breakup of effective approaches to human problems.

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