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You don’t have to be in nursing for long to realize that the profession is ripe with situations for high comedy. For some reason, the icky side of nursing makes us laugh even harder—especially when it doesn’t happen to us. Nurses love a good tale of code brown—epic explosions of poo that have legendary status in our minds. Whether we needed two masks, a change of clothes or more towels than we’d care to mention, code brown stories are just plain funny to hear.

I haven’t been a nurse that long in the grand scheme of things. I’ve only been a registered nurse for four years, but I worked as a certified nursing assistant for a few years to put myself through nursing school. It is from this hard, thankless work that I have my best code brown stories. I don’t have too many from my days as an RN, but I always enjoy hearing a story of how some poor nurse got browned out.

It Just Keeps Coming
I worked with this female patient at a nursing home who was completely contracted and debilitated. She did not like getting out of her bed, so she would often become constipated. Of course, anyone who has worked in a nursing home knows that if you don’t go in three days, well, we have ways of making you go. (Insert evil laugh here.)

The patient was on the bowel program as I came in to do her HS care for the night. She liked me because I would joke around with her, and we listened to Frank Sinatra together and sang along. She didn’t speak very well due to a prior stroke, but we could understand each other well enough.

I got her turned on her side, and I was wiping down her back. Since she hadn’t pooped in days, I didn’t have any pad under her or anything. Bad choice. She said, “Uh, oh!” Suddenly, she started to have the biggest, thickest BM that I have ever seen. Hurriedly, I grabbed for whatever was nearby and literally held it under the emerging mess to save myself from having to redo the entire bed.

I said, “Oh, my God!” and she started to roar with laughter. The more she laughed—yup, you guessed it—the more BM I had to catch coming out of her. So much was coming out that I was quickly running out of room on the bed pad I did manage to pull under her, and all the while she’s laughing at me because she is literally pooing into my hands.

Finally, she finished, and I said, “Thanks a lot.” She could not stop laughing. Every time I came into the room for the rest of the night, she would look at me and laugh. In fact, when I changed her again, she started laughing so hard that I thought we would have a repeat performance. Luckily, this time I had a diaper under her. Lesson learned.

From Here to Eternity
One of my favorite patients at the nursing home had cerebral palsy from birth, and he had always been confined to a wheelchair. His condition was spastic; he could not move his arms or legs with any degree of control. He could only grunt at you for speech, but he truly was a beautiful person. He used to flirt with all the girls and had a great sense of humor despite his lack of speech. He always had a smile on his face, and I felt privileged to care for him.

He was another patient who had trouble moving his bowels, so they pumped him full of softeners, laxatives and the like. The trouble with him was that he never wanted to get out of his chair. He always wanted to stay in his wheelchair by the door to see the comings and goings. He was my patient, so one day I asked him if he needed to be changed. He smiled and howled with laughter, his back arching as his body spasmed from his hilarity. I should have known it would be bad.

I took him down the hall and didn’t bother to ask anyone for help. I could move him to the bed with the lift on my own, and I promised him that I would bring him right back out. I put him into the lift and then lowered him onto the bed.

As soon as I took down his pants, I saw why he had laughed so hard when I asked him if he needed to be changed. He had BM down to his ankles. When I saw it, I must have gasped, because he laughed and seized up, spreading the poo around and making a bigger mess of the bed. I tried to wrangle him still, but it was no use. This was just too funny for him and he couldn’t stop laughing.

I finally got his pants off and turned him over. I noticed some BM on his lower back. As I lifted his shift, I saw that the mess went all the way up his back to the very top of his neck. He was literally covered in poo! Once I saw that I would have to take his shirt off, too, he found this even more hysterical, and he started rolling around. I quickly stabilized him and got his shirt off.

I cleaned him up: pants, shirt, socks and new bed. When I turned him back over and looked at him, I said, “You knew what you had waiting for me, didn’t you?” He nodded vigorously and barked a laugh, arching off the bed. I just laughed with him. The great thing about Code Brown is that it always washes off.

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You’re the kind of person who’s in the right place at the right time.

No, I mean it.

Look at yourself. You’re a nurse when it’s a great time to be a nurse. Plus, you’re obviously thinking about your future (You’re reading this article, right?). You want to know where you need to be in 2013 in order to make the most money –– and be in the most demand.

I’ve pulled together the numbers to help you plan your next steps (and determine where your competition lies). These stats from the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) may surprise you with some interesting projections.

Where the Jobs Are

If you love med-surg, get ready for some good news. According to the BLS, nurses can expect to find a variety of employment opportunities in privately owned, general medical surgical hospitals. This includes physician’s offices, local medical surgical hospitals, home health care agencies and nursing care homes. Job seeking nurses may also want to consider government agencies, nursing education and administrative roles in hospitals and insurance companies.

Salary Forecast

Although it may not seem like it sometimes, nursing is among the higher paid professions. In May 2010, the average annual median salary for nurses was $64,690 per year (the top 10 percent earned more than $95,130). So how will your salary stack up in the near distant future?

Nurses in private medical surgical hospitals can expect to earn $66,650 per year. Those who work in doctor’s offices, local medical surgical hospitals and home health agencies can all expect a salary just above $60,000.

Where the Competion Will Be

Although anecdotal evidence in the nursing community doesn’t necessarily point to a nursing shortage, statistics show that growth for the nursing profession is expected to increase exponentially by the year 2020. In fact, growth is projected to increase by 26 percent, while all other professions are only expected to grow by 14 percent.

That isn’t to say that some venues aren’t more competitive than others. Hospital nursing is a good place to find a job due to the relatively high turnover of nurses and the progressive aging of retirement-eligible nurses. The competition is expected to be much higher for positions in doctor’s offices and outpatient care centers as well due to the family-friendly shifts and relatively lower patient care demands.

Should You Beef Up Your Credentials?

The demand for nurses with at least a BSN is expected to rise in the US. Additionally, all advanced practice registered nurses, such as certified registered nurse practitioners, nurse midwives and nurse anesthetists are expected to be in higher demand. If you’re looking for the hot jobs in this profession, you would do well to advance your education as far as possible.

References:

Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor, Occupational Outlook Handbook, 2012-13 Edition, Registered Nurses.

Well, not quite. It really is all about safety—for the nurse and the patients—for a new nurse’s first year on the floor. “What they are trying to test is what a beginning nurse needs to know, do and feel in order to be safe, and all the questions fall from that,” says Diane M. Billings, EdD, RN, FAAN, author of Lippincott Q&A Review for NCLEX-RN and Chancellor’s Professor Emeritus at Indiana University School of Nursing in Indianapolis.

You know you’re a competent nurse—you’re just not a good test taker. We asked Billings, who is an NCLEX expert and guru to nursing students everywhere, for her best insider advice on approaching the exam and “cracking the code” on test day.

Next: What Exactly Is Going to Be on the Test, Anyway? →

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Licensed practical nurses (LPNs) are some of the most important people in the nursing care schema. They pass meds, perform rounds and help the RN in his or her job. A great LPN makes an RN’s life a little easier and brings a great set of skills to the care of the patient. Some facilities would be lost without their LPNs pulling the weight of the care.

Unfortunately, LPNs do face certain challenges when they attempt to perform their jobs. Some of these challenges are surmountable with good communication among all members of the care team, and some are consequences of the legalities of nursing. LPNs are limited in what they can do, and that sometimes presents challenges to an LPN who has to depend on the RN for so many things. With some persistence, though, an LPN can find a way to overcome these challenges and care for patients with skill.

1. Restrictions on job opportunities
One of the challenges for LPNs, especially in this tight job economy, is finding a place to work. Many hospitals restrict their hiring for floor nurses to RNs, and this can be frustrating for LPNs who want to work in acute care settings. Some hospitals do hire LPNs, but usually in roles that have less authority and are task-oriented. For instance, some hospitals can hire LPNs for the IV team or to draw blood for the lab.

LPNs can find jobs in nursing homes, but they often will not be the one in charge of the floor. They will have to answer to an RN and will not have the autonomy that a registered nurse has. Again, the LPN could be reduced to roles such as medication nurse or treatment nurse instead of having full care of the patients. Some centers, such as dialysis facilities, will only hire RNs to work the dialysis machine and care for patients. For some LPNs, this lack of diversity in job opportunities can be a challenge that propels them back to school.

2. Delegation issues
LPNs are often restricted in what they can do because, legally, they are faced with the challenge of delegation. An LPN cannot assess, diagnose or evaluate care because this is the realm of the RN. Sometimes, this can be frustrating for an LPN who may know what needs to be done and cannot actually do it. An LPN can even disagree with his or her supervising RN, but will be powerless to change the tasks he or she is delegated to complete.

This challenge is surmountable, though. You cannot change the laws regarding patient care, but you can develop a good working relationship with the RN in charge to provide the best care for the patient. Just because an LPN is delegated a certain task such as med pass doesn’t mean that he or she can’t notice that a patient is having difficulty breathing. If the charge RN does nothing or ignores the situation, the LPN can follow the chain of command upward to help the patient. Even though LPNs are technically below the RN in the chain of command, they can still impact a patient’s care.

3. Experience vs. education
In some situations, an LPN with 20 years of experience might find that a new grad nurse is his or her supervisor. This is a challenging situation because the LPN likely knows much more about patients, their illnesses and how to react than an RN who has only limited experience. Again, it is a legal anomaly that requires the RN to delegate to the LPN. If an RN does not have a great deal of experience, an LPN needs to know how to approach the situation.

Communication between the RN and LPN is vital to the proper care of the patient. An LPN who assumes the RN knows what he or she is doing—or stubbornly does only what he or she is told to do—can cause harm to the patient. An LPN needs to be an expert communicator and a nurse who knows how to work with people. It is often the realm of the LPN to act as a bridge between the patient and the overextended RN. This is where teamwork becomes the solution to this very common problem.

Reference:

“Remedying role confusion: Differentiating RN and LPN roles” by Lisa M. Shaffer, BSN, RN; Kathy Johnson, BSN, RN; and Carolyn Guinn, MSN, RN; American Nurse Today, March 2010
http://www.americannursetoday.com/article.aspx?id=6382&fid=6276

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Nursing—and medicine itself—is becoming increasingly specialized as new technologies are developed and as different conditions become more prevalent. It’s hard to know whether that specialty you love will take off or fall by the wayside.

If you’re looking for a new specialty outside the box or wonder where your skills will serve you best in the future, here’s a list of a few booming fields in the nursing industry.

Informatics
Informatics nursing isn’t exactly a new specialty, but it’s a specialty that’s poised to take off in the future. When you’re an informatics nurse, your job is to help computer programmers figure out how to create software that’ll help nurses do their jobs more effectively. In some situations, you may even learn how to create programs of your own, but your primary job would be to determine how the computer fits into the clinical picture.

Since everything in the hospital is switching over to computers, more nurses will be needed in this area to assist in the development of software and help train nurses. If you’re an informatics nurse, you could find yourself on a typical day observing and interviewing other nurses to determine what their needs are and help the computer programs make their lives easier. You would also assist in deciding how computers help the patient to receive better care.

Telemedicine
Closely related to informatics is the specialty of telemedicine. The American Nurses Credentialing Center doesn’t list this specialty yet, but with the evolution of computers, it’s only a matter of time. Telemedicine is providing care and advice to patients over the phone or over the Internet. For people who live far away from care centers, this connection to a nurse could actually save their lives.

Many insurance companies now have nurses to answer questions over the phone, but with the evolution of services such as Skype, nurses could have an even more interactive experience with their long-distance patients. Some home healthcare companies have small boxes that will monitor the patient’s blood pressure, pulse and other vitals, and the software will beam it to a nurse who is in charge of care! It’s not exactly Star Trek, but let’s face it, nurses 50 years ago would be impressed. Telemedicine is the wave of the future, and more people will be using it as the technology becomes cheaper.

Geriatrics
Two words: baby boomers. More nurses will be needed who specialize in old age. Simple as that. Whether it’s nursing home care for Alzheimer’s patients or working as a home health nurse who checks in on an aging patient, geriatrics is a specialty that will need dedicated workers in the future.

The baby boomers aren’t getting any younger, and they will require nurses with specialized knowledge to help them. If you want a specialty that will be hungry for professionals, and one that will allow you the special role of helping the aging through the last years of their lives, you should become certified as a geriatrics nurse.

References:
“The Hottest Up and Coming Nursing Specialties” by Melissa Wirkus, 2009

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If you’re like many nurses, especially new ones, you may instinctively be focusing on hospitals as potential employers.

However, with the stiff competition out there for these coveted openings, you may want to consider thinking outside the box. Here are five job-hunting targets that may just get you hired right away (or faster than you think!).

Air National Guard
If you’re attracted to the rush and fast pace of the OR and critical care — you may want to consider being an Air National Guard nurse. You may find yourself in the middle of the action during a natural disaster, civil emergency, or homeland crisis – situations where your skills are critical and your character can make all the difference. If you thrive on getting an adrenaline rush, here’s your chance to care for patients being airlifted out of disaster-stricken areas or saving lives in a field hospital in the aftermath of a hurricane. The Air National Guard has a variety of opportunities that allow nurses to stay close to home and serve their community, assessing the health needs of individuals as well as the population as a whole. You’ll even have the option of part-time service allowing you to gain new skills and experiences while keeping your civilian job.

Nursing Homes
Even if nursing homes weren’t your favorite in nursing school, you shouldn’t be quick to rule out this option. Nursing homes also hire utilization review registered nurses and case managers—positions that require an RN degree but don’t involve the drudgery of nursing home work. It’s true that some of these jobs require experience, but others don’t. Some nursing homes, especially smaller ones, are happy to train you on the job to fill these roles. Apply for MSDS, utilization or case management nursing home positions if you’re in need of a job right away.

Clinics
In the rush to get a hospital job or possibly a job in a doctor’s office, you might have forgotten that there are a ton of clinics out there. With the wait times at hospitals, and with some insurance companies refusing to cover emergency room visits, patients are increasingly turning to clinics for medical attention.

A clinic is a great place for a new nursing grad to get a foot in the door. Also look into clinics for pain management, stroke survivors, heart attack victims, etc., that might be in your area and looking for help. Sometimes places don’t advertise an opening, so call and see if you can talk to an HR person. The worst they can say is that they have no openings.

Drug Rehabilitation Centers
Many drug rehab centers have to detox subjects, and guess what? They need an RN on duty to make sure the patient doesn’t seize or go into DTs, and to give meds. You might have overlooked places like this—who would think a drug and alcohol rehab center would need a nurse? Some places may require experience, but others won’t require anything more than your nursing license. It pays to be proactive: Bust out the yellow pages, look up all the drug rehab centers in your area and call them to see what their nursing status is. You just might get an interview.

Dialysis Centers
Many large companies perform dialysis treatments on patients seven days a week. These companies, such as DaVita, need registered nurses to man the dialysis machines and make sure the patients don’t go bad. You would need to monitor vital signs, the dialysis machine and the port to ensure it doesn’t clot off. If you have some experience in nursing, you’ll stand a better chance, but some dialysis companies take new grads and train them to run the machines. If your city is large enough, you may find many dialysis centers around to target for your search.

Rehabilitation Centers
After some patients are done at the hospital, they are quickly sent out to rehabilitation centers to recover. (In fact, you’ll sometimes find that insurance companies facilitate shipping patients out a little too soon.) People in rehabilitation centers can have trachs, vents, external fixators and a host of other interesting diagnoses for you to experience. Of course, they all need their meds and their therapy, and you would have an assignment, just as you would have on a medical-surgical floor. Although their status will be a little less acute, the patients will still be significantly ill. Most rehab centers prefer that you have experience, but don’t actually require it. Interview well, and you just might have a job.

This article is brought to you in partnership with the Air National Guard.

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Either you’re reading this article with a smug grin on your face (you just know you’re going to find your state listed here) or you’re suffering from a bit of “Grass Is Always Greener” Syndrome.

Whatever the case may be, we took a look at the data from all over the country about where nurses are faring best. From the highest salaries to most favorable nurse-to-patient ratios, we found out which of your neighbors are living the good nursing life. In fact, we’ve been conducting an informal poll on the Code Happy app to gauge where nurses are happiest! So far, we’ve heard from 941 “happy” and “extremely happy” nurses. Find out where they work and live!

California
Surf’s up! First of all, the salary can’t be beat for nurses in this sun-kissed state. According to Physician’s Practice, the average salary for registered nurses at all levels of experience is $61,283 per year. In addition, California is ranked number one in the nation for hourly nurse wages. California is also among the top five states expected to see job growth in the profession through 2020.

That’s all great, but what’s it like to work there? According to our Code Happy app, 14 percent of all nurses who reported to be happy are working in California. Part of the reason for the overwhelmingly happy results may have to do with the low nurse-to-patient ratios that have been in effect since 2004. In fact, Via Palo Alto near San Francisco is rated one of the best hospitals in the country for these favorable regulations. Oh yeah, and the weather is kind of incredible here.

Texas
Everything is bigger in Texas…including the smile on a nurse’s face. We chose Texas as one of the top three destinations for nurses in the U.S. for the educational diversity, variety of job opportunities and the higher-than-average nurse wages.

Some other reasons to put on your cowgirl hat? Texas hospitals rank above the national average for patient satisfaction. Happy patients equal happy nurses, right? Of the nurses who participated in our happiness poll, 86 of them (9 percent of total respondents) were from Texas.

New York
The salaries in the Northeast are nuthin’ to sneeze at. The average salary for a nurse in this region is $59,329 per year. Nurses in New York, in fact, have the fourth highest hourly salary in the country, and LPNs have the second highest hourly wage in the U.S. It’s also third in the country for CNA wages.

New York boasts several facilities that are ranked high for excellent nurse-to-patient ratios. St. Mary’s Center, Inc., Elizabeth Seton Pediatric Center and Robert Mapplethorpe Residential Treatment Facility are all highly coveted facilities to work for because of this factor. If you’re a psychiatric nurse, this specialty is in high demand in The Big Apple. Did we mention that NY is among the top five states for projected job growth in the country?

Although in our Code Happy poll, just 41 nurses (4 percent of total respondents) reported in that they were happy or extremely happy, I think we can all guess that this number is a low ball figure, right? I mean, really, what self-respecting New Yorker admits to being “extremely happy”? Yeah.

More top states where nurses are whistlin’ while they work:

Ohio
Top happy status update: “I love my job!”

Florida
Top happy status update: “No work today. ALL PLAY.”

New Jersey
Top happy status update: “I can’t wait to start my new job!”

North Carolina
Top happy status update: “I love my workplace!”

Find out what nurses in your area are saying this week! Download Scrubs’ Code Happy app to your Android or iPhone. You’ll also get a daily dose of humor, inspiration and more information about salary, benefits and more reasons why nurses are loving their workplace. Don’t forget to upload your status update to enter our happiness poll!

Where do you work as a nurse? Should your state be on our short list?

Sources:
Physician’s Practice, 2012 Staff Salary Survey, April 2012
www.physicianspractice.com/staff-salary-survey/content/article/1462168/2061671?pageNumber=1
Scrubs Magazine’s Code Happy App

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If you’re feeling burned out or worn out, or just don’t have your head in the game anymore, you may be suffering from what is now recognized as compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is a condition experienced by many healthcare providers across the spectrum of care. It can manifest with physical symptoms, such as migraines, muscle pain or abdominal pain. It can also have an emotional component and produce depression, anxiety and stress.

What makes compassion fatigue different, though, is the presence of spiritual distress. You just don’t care anymore, have become cynical and simply don’t see the point in trying. Fortunately, you can use a few unconventional methods to pull yourself out of this feeling. They are radical and require a new way of thinking, but they may help you get your spark back.

Zen’s the Word
When you are feeling spiritually empty, you may not know what to do about it. How do you reconnect with your spiritual roots and rise above your inability to feel compassion anymore?

As a Westerner, yoga, tai chi, meditation and martial arts may seem weird to you. Sitting for 20 minutes of meditation every morning may strike you as a big waste of already precious time. It isn’t. In fact, learning how to meditate can put you in touch with how you are feeling and help you find a solution. You can meditate to ease your depression and anxiety, but it will also help you realize that you ARE doing an important, necessary job. You gain some distance from yourself with these practices and can face life with much less cynicism.

Volunteer in a Big Way
Maybe you’re just tired of the hospital system. Maybe you’ve seen enough COPD, uncontrolled diabetes and drug-seeking patients. It’s understandable that you can feel like you aren’t helping anyone when you see the same thing day in and day out. Sometimes patients are not the most thankful, either, and this can make you feel unwanted.

Try volunteering. You could easily volunteer at your local senior center doing blood pressure screenings, but that’s unlikely to bust you out of this funk. Think about the Red Cross. Think about starving kids in Africa. As they say, go big or go home. If you really want to see how valuable you are, volunteer for people who truly need you and are grateful for your help. Even in your own city, you can find a free clinic where you can volunteer. Seeing that others truly need you can help you to recover spiritually and come to terms with your compassion fatigue.

What Color Are Your Scrubs?
Most of us feel like we are called to nursing. We know that it’s exactly what we want to do with our lives…but what if you don’t feel that way anymore? You need to sit down and discover what your talents are. Maybe you’re a painter at heart, perhaps a sculptor. Get in touch with your muse and find out what makes you truly happy. You need to figure out that one thing in your life that turns you on so strongly that you leap out of bed every morning excited to do it again.

For some people, this may be nursing. Write down why nursing makes you feel this way. As Mufasa said in The Lion King, “Remember who you are.” You need to search your mind and spirit to understand what you were really meant to do—and then pursue it. If the thing that gets you excited is not nursing, you have to turn from a dreamer into a doer.

Thank Another Nurse
If your heart feels empty, do something that fills another nurse’s heart with joy. We’re always griping that we’re never thanked enough. Be the change. Pick a coworker whom you admire for her hard work, wisecracking humor or just plain dedication. Write her a little note or just offer a few, simple words of acknowledgement: “Hey, you know, I gotta hand it to ya, you’re an awesome nurse. I’m glad you’re on my team!” Sometimes the best way to open your heart is to open your heart.

Source:
“Overcoming Compassion Fatigue” by John-Henry Pfifferling, PhD, and Kay Gilley, MS, Family Practice Magazine, April 2000; aafp.org/fpm/2000/0400/p39.html

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When you work in medicine, it’s important to be clear when you speak. Unfortunately, the presence of equipment, psychoactive drugs and hearing-impaired patients can make this primary task challenging on a daily basis! Here’s a list of all new medical miscommunications! Share yours in the comments section below.

1. One older gentleman called the nurse in to complain about the Kentucky jelly sent up by the cafeteria. When he showed her what he used, it turned out to be K-Y Jelly the nurse left on the over-bed table by accident.

2. A nurse went into a patient’s room to give him Cepacol. She instructed him to open his mouth, but he refused. He said that the medication was supposed to be sprayed on his neck because that’s the way the other nurse did it.

3. One postpartum patient absolutely refused to take a sitz bath, despite hurting from her recent birthing. She said that the long tube used in the bath was too uncomfortable on her already swollen birth canal.

4. A patient with dementia was offered some Robitussin for a persistent cough. She replied to her nurse, “Oh, I would love to rub a husband!”

5. The patient was wearing an oxygen mask and asked his nurse, “Are my testicles black?” She lifted the sheet to confirm that they were the normal color. He took his mask off, thanked her for looking and then asked, “Are my test results back?”

6. Some nurses apparently didn’t learn their abbreviations in school. One nurse followed a newer nurse and found a suppository shoved up the patient’s right nostril. When she confronted the new nurse, she admitted that she thought PRN stood for “per right nostril.”

7. One nurse read an order that stated “2 gtts R ear.” She obediently put two drops of the medication in the patient’s rear, and the patient didn’t even think to stop her!

8. A CNA with a heavy Filipino accent approached an elderly patient and said, “Let me see your teeth.” The patient only blinked at her, and the CNA asked the patient again to see her teeth. Reluctantly, the patient pulled up her shirt and exposed her chest. The CNA shook her head, saying, “No, I don’t want to see your teats. I want to clean your mouth!”

9. One time a doctor asked a nurse to change a patient’s socks. Confused but compliant, the nurse dutifully went and changed the garments. The doctor came back to find her, and she asked, “Why did you want me to change his socks?” He replied, “No, I wanted you to check a pulse ox.”

10. A nursing student informed a patient that she would return soon with clean sheets. The patient replied, “No, thank you. I don’t care for cream cheese.”

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Let’s face it: If you’ve been in nursing long enough, you’ve seen some pretty strange stuff. Take a look at some of the odd encounters our readers have experienced, and share your own in the comments section below!

1. A nurse was doing a stroke assessment on an elderly patient. She asked her to smile, but the patient said that she just didn’t feel like smiling. Then the nurse said, “Well, show me your teeth.” The lady opened her mouth, took out her dentures and handed them to the dumbfounded nurse.

2. One elderly gentleman asked his nurse for some tape after putting in his hearing aids. The nurse watched as the patient began to put the tape over his ears. When asked why, the patient said, “It’s to keep them hearing aids from falling out!”

3. An elderly patient came out of his room during a code. With curiosity, he looked into the room at the coding patient. Deciding he didn’t want to bother anyone, he promptly urinated on the floor and wandered back to a different room. He then proceeded to climb into bed with another patient.

4. A nurse encountered a patient who refused to use the toilet in his room. He would urinate on the carpet or in the trash can. The nurses thought he was confused. One night, the nurse was giving him a bath, and he needed to use the toilet. He refused to sit on the seat, and when she asked why, he replied, “Because the water is cold and it freezes my balls!” When the nurse looked, he did have enormous testicles. Turns out, he wasn’t crazy after all.

5. A nurse came in for her shift and saw a patient she had a great relationship with. She said, “What’s new, Tom?” He held his hand over his head and said, “Everything under this point isn’t new at all!”

6. In the middle of July, a nurse was feeding a patient when another patient came by on her wheelchair. She turned into a room that wasn’t hers and began singing “Jingle Bells.” The nurse jumped up and hurriedly pulled the confused woman out of the crowded room. The patient replied, “I guess they didn’t like it!”

7. One nurse came in to start her morning shift and was surprised to see an elderly resident already up and in her chair. The nurse bent down to say hello to the lady, and she replied, “Hey, I know you. You’re my friend.” The nurse said, “That’s right. I’m your friend.” She replied, “Then get me the hell out of this place!”

What’s the strangest or funniest thing you’ve seen lately?