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Think back to your middle school and high school days. There were the stereotypical bullies that everyone tried to steer clear of. They picked on the weakest, they picked on the youngest, they picked on the ones they were most threatened by. The media even hits on this rampant problem that is still around in schools today with the production of movies such as Mean Girls.

Although as professionals we all have grown up in age since then, do you ever wonder if people that surround you at work have grown up in maturity?

We have a journal club at work that meets each month to discuss articles of interest related to nursing or healthcare. This month’s article was about bullying in the workplace, most specifically in the nursing field.

Some interesting findings? Although there has been minimal research into the issue surrounding workplace bullying, all studies that have been done nationally and internationally report that over 50% of interviewed nurses have experienced some form of bullying at work. Now, one can argue that women tend to be sensitive creatures and even constructive criticism can be perceived as bullying, but by definition bullying involves multiple efforts to cause another person physical or emotional harm or injury. Obviously in the hospital setting, there is (hopefully) no physical abuse between co-workers. But a specific type of bullying that deals strictly with the emotional aspect involved, called relational aggression, is the equivalent in the adult world to the bully that walks down the hallways in school with her elbows out taking down all the weaklings.

Some examples of bullying in the workplace? Nurses that voiced their personal experiences with bullying included instances of gossiping about a certain co-worker, the formation of cliques among groups of nurses and ostracizing others, purposeful withholding of information from another nurse, bossy nurses, pushy nurses, or nurses that always criticize another nurse in front of others, and failing to help out a fellow nurse.

Who are these bullies? I thoroughly enjoyed the portion of the article where nurse bullies were given identities based on certain characteristics they displayed. The Supernurse is always right, has always been a better nurse than you, and will always be a better nurse than you. Just accept it. The Resentful Nurse is still holding a grudge against you from when you had to give her a 4th patient when you were in charge three months back. You obviously aren’t a team player. The PGR Nurse Puts downs her co-workers, Gossips about others constantly, and spreads vicious Rumors. She is always great for lunch conversations, as long as you aren’t the one being conversed about. The Backstabbing Nurse cultivates friendships then betrays them for her own good. She is the epitome of Jekyll and Hyde in nursing. The Green-with-Envy Nurse does everything in her power to obtain a certain status that she is envious of, no matter what or who stands in her way. Although some of her patients might be green from nausea, she is green from greed. The Cliquish Nurse reveals her bullying by playing favorites or by excluding others. If you’re not “in”, you can see your way “out.”

What makes you a target? As unfair as it seems, bulling trends tend to correlate with the old nursing adage that scares many away from the profession that “nurses eat their young.” New graduates or new hires are often targeted because they haven’t quite found their niche either socially or professionally.

Those that are recognized or honored for a job well done are often the target of jealous nurses displaying covert means of bullying as they try to even the playing field and increase their own recognition. And unfortunately, much like the movie Mean Girls, those nurses with close relationships with physicians may be the target of gossiping and wide open flood gates of the rumor mill. Times of stress, understaffing, and low floor morale can also increase the likelihood of bullying. As ridiculous as these examples seem, similar circumstances exist in the workplace that should be acknowledged and addressed.

What to do? To combat this problem that has recently peaked as an interest in the field, the Joint Commission, as of January 1st, is requiring that institutions have a process in place to address and handle “intimidating and disruptive” behavior in the workplace. What that means? I’m not so sure…

Some institutions are adopting a more democratic model to their management and eradicating the hierarchy found in many floors. Awareness in our own practices does wonders for a problem as preventable as this.

• If you see bullying first hand on your unit, without causing extra conflict, do you best to intervene.
• Actively UNparticipate in gossiping by redirecting conversation to something more neutral or walking away from the offender.
• If a new grad is having a difficult time, take her under your wing…we’ve all been there.

We have a council on our unit, the Recruitment and Retention Council, that I think by nature unintentionally does a nice job of eliminating some bullying tendencies by creating a sense of community among the unit. They plan team building exercises and tackle problems that are the root of low morale phases on the unit. This is an issue that can and should be resolved in the hospital setting. Nurses are nurturing and deemed the ultimate caregivers by nature of the job, so we need to start acting like it.

Has anyone experienced bullying themselves at work? How is your unit tackling the issue?

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I’ve always envied those who can flip flop back and forth between day shift and night shift. How do they do it?

I think I’ve nailed down some of their secrets, and in so doing have been able to work both day shifts and night shifts in succession. Happily! Nights are often a more peaceful time in the hospital and it’s definitely a nice change in my routine.

So, need some tips on how to survive the “dark side”?

Surviving the night shift.

Here are steps to jumpstart your circadian rhythm and allow for easier transitions from the normalcy of day shift to the non-so-routine night shift.

(1) If you are strictly a night shift nurse and you are having problems adjusting to the schedule, try a couple weeks of grouping all of the shifts together, three in a row. That way you can completely convert to night owl status for half of the week and then have four days to recover back to normalcy (that being if you indeed do work three 12-hr shifts).

For those who rotate and really cannot stand working three nights a week, ask your scheduling manager if you can split up your weeks into day and nights (be sure to work your days towards the beginning of the week and allow ample time for recovery after night shifts). For example, you would work Monday day shift and Wednesday and Thursday night shifts.

Wake up early on the day of your first night shift and take a nap in the afternoon. This strategy allows you to have a bulk of the morning to get stuff done and having some decent sleep prior to going into the long shift. I have heard people that just sleep in late (until like noon or 1 in the afternoon) crash around 3 or 4am because they have been up for so long.

My technique for the last day is to return home post last night shift, sleep for about four hours, then force yourself to wake up! You’ll be so tired by that night that you will be able to sleep during the night and be back on a somewhat normal day routine by the next morning.

(2) Right before a night shift, eat a substantial dinner prior to going into work (even if it is “breakfast-like”). That will hold you over for hours and give you a boost of energy to get the shift started. Try your best to avoid the comfort foods of night shift and bring a light meal full of protein and complex carbs that will fulfill your midnight munchies.

(3) Exercise! This not only applies to those working normal business hours. It becomes extremely important for those on night shifts because working out allows you to have more energy and creates for more sound sleep. I have friends that exercise after they get off their shift in the morning (I’ve always been too tired for that). If that is your preference, be sure to take time to wind down and drink a warm, non-caffeinated drink prior to going to sleep. I tend to exercise after I wake up – the beauty of that being that as opposed to working out early in the morning like a “normal” shift worker may do, you will be inundated with daylight hours for a nice run, pleasant early evening temperatures, and you will most likely beat the post 6pm rush at the gym. Hitting a wall at 4am? Run the stairs, it will most certainly wake you up

(4) Isolate yourself! Be sure to tell your loved ones, your neighbors, and your kids that just like they don’t like being woken up at 2am, you don’t like to be disturbed during your “night”. Turn your phone off, buy dark curtains that will keep the daylight out of your room, wear an eye mask, lock the dog out of your room, tie up the children (kidding), and for goodness sake don’t drink coffee within four hours of going to sleep. If you “need” coffee to get through the shift, drink it early in the shift and combine water with a stair run later in the shift as an energy boost.

You mind is a powerful tool. Keep in mind all of the positives of night shift. It can be extremely conducive to family life if you are a working parent. The shift differential is an added bonus in the bank account. You typically have more autonomy as a nurse on the night shift and have ample time to develop skills and master your assessments. With the pace of the shift usually being slower, you have more time to develop close relationships with your coworkers because you are relying on each other for second opinions, assistance with tasks, and camaraderie in staying awake when everyone else is snug in their beds.

As a new nurse, I was terrified of stories about Joint Commission visits and always hoped that the visit would fall during a week of night shifts so I could avoid the torture. Elder nurses claim that the surveyors pick out weak (new) nurses to interrogate and basically lead you to believe that the hospital’s accreditation status falls on your shoulders, and only yours.

Similar to a college hazing period, if you can get through a Joint Commission visit, you can officially be an RN. It’s human nature to have a fear of the unknown, and for nurses new to the profession, simply the words Joint Commission sound daunting in themselves.

I’m here to dispel some of these myths about Joint Commission, formerly known as JCAHO, in hopes of decreasing anxiety and pointing out some benefits of the unavoidable survey at your hospital.

Myth #1 – the Joint Commission is the Big Bad Wolf

According to the website, “Joint Commission is an independent, not-for-profit organization whose mission is to continuously improve the safety and quality of care provided to the public by evaluating health care organizations and inspiring them to excel in providing safe and effective care of the highest quality and value.”

Sounds great, right? Not yet all bright and cheery? How about this, the Joint Commission’s slogan, Helping Healthcare Organizations Help Patients. That has a nice ring to it. Looking past the negative stigma attached to the name, the concept behind assisting healthcare organizations in better caring for their patients is actually quite a novel one, and one that should be widely embraced by healthcare providers.

Myth #2 – the Joint Commission is unnecessary

Hospitals are surveyed at least every three years and receive an official gold seal of approval via Joint Commission standards if they pass the “inspection.” In many states, Joint Commission accreditation is necessary for receipt of Medicaid reimbursement.

Myths #3 – the Joint Commission hates nurses

Although the process can be  somewhat intimidating, the level of quality required to meet Joint Commission standards ensures that our patients, our friends, and our loved ones, if they should find themselves hospitalized, will receive proper, safe, and quality care. Prior to drafting this post, I perused the Joint Commission website and found some helpful and informative links including the master list of “do not use” abbreviations. I was also pleasantly surprised to read a document that highly promoted the nursing profession in suggesting ideas for advocating for advanced practice nurses, lowering nurse/patient ratio, how to create a more positive view of the profession in society, incentives for nursing school programs for recruiting students and faculty, and ideas to combat the nursing shortage, specifically the nursing faculty shortage. What came to mind after reading said article? Sometimes our biggest fans  are our biggest critics.

Four simple habits to prep for the Joint Commission

1. Label all medications to prevent error
2. Be diligent with charting and documentation
3. Store food in the kitchen and away from the nurse’s station
4. Learn what you don’t know

I used to compare the pre-Joint Commission preparedness time period at work to natural disaster preparation. But I started noticing the positive effects of working up to Joint Commission standards including labeling of all medications to prevent errors, increased effectiveness of transfer of care, diligent charting and documentation, and even small details such as less food at the nurse’s station to improve sanitation.

I even find myself seeking out information that I use to simply overlook if I didn’t know the answer. Sure, it’s out of fear of being audited but I’m a more well-versed nurse because of it.

Although a seemingly intimidating process, if looked at with an open mind and an educated perspective, my hope is that nurses can learn to embrace a Joint Commission visit as a challenge that will enhance their workplace, promote quality care, and push them to take pride in their profession.

alexraths | Veer

You hear it all the time in the professional realm: People complaining about their jobs.

Truth is, nursing is not immune to job gripes.

But in light of the new year, I vowed to be a more positive person with an optimistic outlook. During this little introspective session, I realized that in our profession, if you don’t like it, change it. That’s the beauty of the job.

You get out of school and you enter the workforce with a vast amount of options based purely on schedule. Do you want to work three days a week? Do you want to work night shift? Do you want to work normal business hours in an office setting? These options increase the marketing value of the profession–if you get sick of your schedule, go work somewhere else!

Many mothers that I have spoken with agree that working night shift is great for family life. You can sleep when the kids are in school and spend a couple of hours in the evening with the family, then the dad watches the children at night when the mom goes to work. And when the kids grow up and mom is exhausted from working night shift all these years, she switches to day shift. It doesn’t get much more conducive to family life than that.

Nurses also can choose the genre of people they want to encounter and care for. You don’t like adult patients? Work at a pediatric hospital. You don’t want your patients to be awake when you are caring for them? Work in an OR or an ICU. The beauty of nursing is that you can find an area that appeals to you most and where you will find the greatest happiness and job satisfaction.

I have heard many nurses complain about their pay. Some wonderful options for job growth include moving to a management position or going back to school to obtain a master’s degree (which has incredible growth potential itself). To complain about pay is a pity when there are vast opportunities to grow as a nurse.

I think the most compelling reason why nurses should never complain, gripe, or moan about their jobs is because while we are working there, we are not the patients. That doesn’t mean that we are all in perfect health or we don’t have family members that may be patients, but at that very time and place, we are not dealing with their illness on a personal level. Every day that I walk into work I try to maintain a positive attitude by telling myself how blessed I am not to have a child with a congenital heart defect. It puts things in perspective on a daily basis.

So, although it is easy to think the grass is always greener, this 2012 I’m going to do my best to do away with excuses and take nursing for all of the good that it has. Because it has a lot to offer.

mantonino | Veer + Scrubs

I had a lovely visit today with a family that I know from the hospital. The mom just had her third baby, a perfectly healthy, beautiful boy.

I am most familiar with the second child in the family. Fortunately for me I get to spend time with him outside of his home; unfortunately for him the time is spent at the hospital. He has a cardiac defect and has undergone multiple open heart surgeries.

At four years old he is thriving–aside from the faint bluish tint that encircles his mouth and creeps into his fingertips, you would hardly know the rough road he has been down in his short life. Given my experience in pediatric cardiac nursing, I feel as though I have been as asset to this family.

A very apparent dichotomy exists in light of the new baby joining the ranks. Frankly, I don’t do healthy babies. I don’t know how to prevent him from having “normal” baby spit-ups, how to prevent gas, and no, I can’t give him Tylenol just because he’s fussy.

It’s quite frustrating for me–I can’t tell you the number of people that tell me what an experienced mother I’m going to be when I eventually have children. My response is always the same: I need to read the same books you do when I bring home my newborn because (God-willing) he/she will NOT have a midsternal incision that I must take care of, will not be on a methadone wean, and will not have a feeding tube! Throw me an NG tube to manage and I’m cool as a cucumber, toss in a little colic and–whoops–my knowledge goes out the window.

The same can be said for people who know I’m a nurse. It’s not unusual to receive phone calls to the nature of “I stepped on a nail, do you think I have osteomyelitis?” Trust me, people, Google knows a lot more about osteomyelitis than I do!

One of my favorites was when my best friend’s mom was describing the symptoms she had been having for a few weeks: fluttering heart rate, mild chest pain, shortness of breath on exertion. She had convinced herself that it was not precipitating symptoms for a heart attack, and she didn’t want to go to the doctor, so she wanted me to tell her what to do. Ummm, sounds to me like you need a good dose of a kick-in-the-butt-and-go-straight-to-your-cardiologist.

Although it sounds as though I’m complaining, I do feel truly honored that my friends, family, and complete strangers think I know everything. I think that says a lot for the profession of nursing as well. People trust us and respect our advice.

The more I think about it, perhaps we all do this more than we let on. I have a faint memory of being laughed at by my CPA friend who works in audits for a large corporation when I asked him to do my yearly taxes for me. And there was the time I asked the gentleman at ACE Hardware why my air conditioner was making a strange rattling noise.

Having faith in professionals is a good thing. But the next time I tell you to go to the doctor because I can’t diagnose why you’re having loose stools and a toothache, please listen to me.

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Halloween. A holiday that has been commercialized for the selling of exorbitant amounts of candy, masks, and provocative adult costumes. A holiday that has been secularized from its original celebration of martyrs and saints to trick-or-treating, pumpkin carving, and haunted houses.

To be honest, I enjoy the approach of Halloween as the leaves are changing colors and the temperature is cooling down. It symbolizes the beginning of the fall holidays (my favorite ones) including Thanksgiving in a month and Christmas in December. From a nurse’s perspective, Halloween can be a perfect combination of fun, creepy, and sometimes even a little demeaning.

Fun. If you are scheduled to work Halloween and you have to miss the kids out trick-or-treating, what environment could take the cake for 2nd place in the fun category? A children’s hospital! Our hospital hosts a Halloween parade in the lobby for patients and their families to show off costumes and get in the Halloween spirit. It’s impressive how kids in the hospital show some humor and their personalities when they dress up. I saw an oncology patient that was actively getting chemotherapy dressed as an old man in a wheelchair. His explanation? “Well I was already bald and in a wheelchair, I couldn’t have picked an easier costume.” He was all smiles in the parade. Halloween week always marks the beginning of spirit week on our floor as well- basically, it’s an excuse for our nurses to dress up each day of the week for the kid’s viewing pleasure. People come in costume on Halloween Day, followed by Superhero Day, favorite sports team day, etc. This gives the staff a chance to show their creative flare as well. And Halloween also marks the beginning of the influx of goodies at the nurse’s station that will continue for the next two months. That part, although delicious, is not so great on the waistline.

Creepy. I worked a Halloween night a couple years back and in the middle of the night when things were slow we all started telling spooky stories pertaining to the hospital. Night shift in itself is more lonely, dark, and in the right setting can be a little creepy. Especially if you have to go down to the deserted kitchen alone to get your patient a snack. But some nurses started telling stories of one of our particular rooms in the old building (before we moved units) that she believes was haunted. This was the nicest room on the floor, and patients that were the sickest or expected to be hospitalized the longest were typically given that room. Simply by circumstance, it happened to be the room that had the most codes as well. Now, whether it was to just scare me because I was new at that point or if she really believed it, I still don’t know, but she was convinced that the spirit of one of the patient’s that passed away still hung around that room. She said one little boy in that room kept asking for an older boy to play with him. When his parents questioned more, he claimed it was the boy that came to visit him last night (nobody has visited the family the night before). That same nurse also said that was the room that they had to call engineering for the most frequently because of the lights malfunctioning, or the air being extra cold, or the paper towel dispenser spitting out paper towels randomly throughout the day. So I started to think of a room on our floor that may fall into that category. We have a large corner room that the nurses like to call the VIP room which fortunately or unfortunately, again, holds many of our sickest patients. Since I’ve worked there, we have had more deaths in that room than any, some being patients that we all adored. Although the thought is creepy, I wouldn’t mind be reminded of their spirit, just perhaps not in the middle of the night shift…  do any other hospitals have rooms with similar circumstances?

Demeaning. Go to your nearest Halloween costume store to shop for a costume for an adult Halloween party and what do you find lining the shelves next to the barely-clothed Little Bo Peeps and the scantily dressed cop costumes? Naughty nurses of course. Yes, nursing is a profession that is heavily female dominated. And yes, nurses back in the day had to wear white uniforms that were oftentimes knee length skirts with stockings. And yes, some television shows portray the nursing profession as a bunch of women out to pick up the doctor at the hospital by batting their eyelashes. But why on earth do Halloween costumes have to be so demeaning for us? An unbuttoned lab coat with a red bra and panties underneath and a stethoscope around your neck does not make you a nurse. Costumes like this give the profession a bad stereotype, one that falls in tune with how TV portrays nursing. Granted, like I said previously, it’s not the only profession to fall victim to the slutty role at Halloween, but I wish people would show a little more respect.

What are some of the things that your hospitals do for Halloween to get you in the spirit?

Image: Michael Blann | Digital Vision | Getty Images

True to the claims of the old TV show “Kids Say the Darndest Things,” surround yourself by children each and every workday and that statement becomes not only true but very endearing.

It would be an unusual occurrence for me to end my workday without a funny/cute/smile-provoking story about one of my patients, whether it be something they said or did that day. The part I love most about my job as a pediatric nurse is the fact that although these children are in the hospital, they are still children with incredible imaginations and no circumstance can take that away from them.

In an effort to more clearly remember and appreciate some of these stories that stick out the most, I began documenting some of the one-liners from my patients. Please enjoy my top ten list of  ”Kid-isms,” all credit given to precious hospitalized children.

1. A young boy with a PICC line for IV therapy permanently renamed this device his “pink line.”

2. Post IV insertion on a five year-old girl: “how will you keep my insides from leaking now that the needle is in me?”

3. “What kind of scissors do they use to cut me open? You think they are purple like the ones I use at school?”

4. I found this scribbled note at the bedside of a patient waiting on a heart transplant around the holidays. Dear Santa, please mail me a heart so another kid does not have to die to give me theirs.

5. An eight year-old patient excitedly ran up to show me his autographed “hockey puff” that he received downstairs in the lobby when the Thrashers came to visit.

6. A young girl with eyes wide open greeted me when I entered the room with, “You are the charge nurse? I’m so glad you came, the batteries in my daddy’s camera just ran out, can you charge them?”

7. Quote (no lie) from a very jovial and very enthusiastic patient in his cute country twang: “I’m going to give you a terminate wedgie.” Although I questioned on multiple occasions if he meant permanent, he would always reply with, “much worse than permanent, a terminate one.”

8. One of our patient’s brothers was admitted to the hospital and transferred to our floor out of convenience for the family. When our patient found out his brother was coming, he responded with “he is just jealous because I get treated like a king here.”

9. And sometimes they can make you blush without meaning to. “You aren’t married? Why don’t you just marry one of these doctors? They make a lot of money.” Right in front of the rounding MD team, nonetheless.

10. “If you show me your scar I’ll show you mine…”

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Alcohol foam. I “foam up” like our infection control campaign tells me to do before and after each and every patient interaction. Add that up in one twelve hour shift and, bam, that’s a lot of foam. I never really questioned why my hands would sometimes get really hot after using the foam consecutive days, or why my  non-medical friends would look at me funny during one of my peeling outbreaks. Or why I had to start explaining to parents as I got near their newborns that no, I did not have leprosy.

Then one day I floated to the NICU, and was introduced to a new product that they use for cleaning their hands at the bedside. This was more of a liquid product, just as effective in its antimicrobial properties, but with more moisturizing agents. I “borrowed” a container of it and brought it back to my management, asking if this was something they could order for me to use. The week after, a box appeared in my manager’s office and I was given full access to that box, a box that made my hands very happy. They haven’t peeled since, and when some of my coworkers ask me why I’m carrying around a small container in my pocket everywhere I go, I ask them if they remember how bad my hands used to be. Everyone remembers, and it seems that since this new antimicrobial alcohol cleanser has graced my presence, other nurses have complained of the same effects on their hands from the alcohol foam.

Then my mind started to wander and images of what the real damage was to my hands (and body) filled my head. If this stuff was soaking into my skin and essentially burning my skin so as to make it flake off, what was it doing to my bloodstream? Was this just an allergic reaction I was having or was I exposing my body to noxious chemicals? I wonder if clinical trials have been done on the effect of this particular alcohol foam on pregnant ladies/small children/etc. I’m in the process of figuring out if said trials have occurred, I’ll get back to you all if I find out anything of interest.

We as nurses sacrifice a lot for our safety and the safety of the patient we care for. Think about how many times you have brought your patient to the Xray department or down for a CT scan- all of those lead gowns don’t have neck protectors. That’s exposure. Or how many times you’ve given an injection to a fighting, flailing patient. That’s risk of needlestick. Or how many times we skip lunch or forget about going to the bathroom because we were too busy caring for the kids on the floor. That’s just bad for our bodies. Or how often I have used all the strength in my legs and my back to shift the weight of the morbidly obese patient so he doesn’t get bedsores. That’s sacrifice.

The profession demands a lot of us. We are expected to be the ultimate caregivers and all the while provide compassion, exude empathy, practice patience, and still maintain a smile. But what about the risk we are putting ourselves in? Nurses don’t often think about that stuff because it’s just what we do. Granted, thank goodness for so many other professionals that put themselves at risk on a daily basis for our protection in our daily lives. But I think nurses deserve some of this credit as well. It took me nearly four years to have this epiphany, and it makes me even more proud of what I do. Sacrificing a little skin off the ol’ hands every now and again is worth it

You may want to check out this article on Best Hand Creams for Nurses! (there are lots of recommendations in the comments, too)

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By nature of the profession and the work that we do as nurses, doctors, or other medical staff, we are routinely exposed to the sick, the dying, the tragic accident, the miracles of medicine, the joy of cures.

Also by nature of our profession, I see on a daily basis the organic reasons for life, the physiology behind somebody healing from an illness, how medicine works on a human body to fix their ailments. On the other hand, I also see what goes wrong and I see when a body’s organs fail to function properly and what the end result is. When we have a death at the hospital, a common question that floats around the nursing staff is “what happened” or “why did they die?” Although there is oftentimes a medical “reason” for such travesty, do we ever really know why? I was raised in a Christian household and taught that God has the ultimate control over our lives. I pray every night before I go to sleep for the health and happiness of my family and friends. Fortunately, in my own life, aside from aging grandparents, my family and friends have led relatively healthy lives- and I thank God for that. But I’m certain that families of children at the hospital have also prayed every night for God’s healing hands to help their dying child. As a nurse (and as a believer in God) one of the greatest struggles to overcome is that three letter word, why. Why would God take the life of an innocent child? Why would He heal this child but allow the one next door to suffer? Why would He put such a wonderful family through so much turmoil?

One of my very first posts on this blog was about a boy whom I referred to as Frog Boy. He was a patient at our hospital that I met the previous year at a summer camp, and we grew extremely close to one another during his months spent in the hospital awaiting a heart transplant. Five days after his ninth birthday he died suddenly one evening from a “silent” coronary event. His current heart was a transplanted heart back from when he was just over a year old and because during transplantation you lack innervation to the new heart, these children oftentimes do not have warning signs of a heart attack like the average person would have. Along with being completely devastated by his death and angry that I was not there to be with him, for months as other kids were getting their transplants my prior-to-bed prayers were spent questioning why that beloved child was not given more of a chance.

I hit a low at work after his death. I felt burnt out, angry, sad, and most dramatically directed this frustration at God. I would watch the news at home and see criminals surviving police chases, murderers getting acquitted of their crimes, people on a daily basis breaking into homes and robbing people at gunpoint. Why did these people live and such a vibrant child with so much life ahead of him have to die? How could God do that to his family, his siblings, and selfishly, me?

Then one day it hit me. Everyone’s time spent here on earth has a meaning and a role that they play in life. For some, it takes a lifetime well into adulthood to figure out that meaning or to fulfill it. For others, they are so wise beyond their years and have such an impact on those surrounding them that they only need a short time. That young boy, even at the ripe young age of 9, touched so many lives in his short lifetime because of his huge heart, even though it was sick. He brought smiles to those that needed some sunshine, and he brought optimism to those that didn’t think they could go on. He was a child basically locked up in the hospital attached to an IV pole, and he had a better spirit than most people I know. Perhaps he knew his time was limited, that’s one thing that I will be sure to ask him when I see him in heaven. All I know is that I am a better person today because of him, and his life and subsequent death has taught me that even amidst tragedy we must remember life and not dwell on the why. I know he is happily acting as my guardian angel and looking over the child that got the heart that he was waiting for. God knew he was special and thought he could continue doing all of his good from heaven.

Since then, when deaths have occurred, no matter what age or circumstance, I have not turned away from God, but instead turned to him, and thanked him for the time he allowed me spend with that person here on earth. I used to once be afraid that I would never care for another patient again for fear of losing them unfairly. But like I said in my past post to that fine young boy, I’d rather love a patient like you and lose you than never love at all.

iStockphoto | Thinkstock

I love my job. I love my schedule. I love how I can take a week off work without taking any “time” off work. I love the people that I work with. But one downfall of having a three day work week is losing out on your workplace social scene.

When people move to a new city, especially without a network of friends already set, your new friends (in most instances) become your coworkers. In the world of nursing where we work less than half the days in any given week, and the normal business hours are not 9-5, but instead a 24-hour window, it is very likely to not see some of your coworkers for weeks at a time. And when you do work the same shift with your friends, by the time you get off and get home it is usually after 8pm, too late for energy to go out to dinner and socialize.

This fact doesn’t bode well for bonding, or for coordinating spend time together outside of work.

I feel so fortunate to work with the nurses that I work with, and I feel as though after working there for four years I know many of them very well. But I had a revelation the other day on two different accounts. One of my coworkers’ husbands stopped by on a weekend shift to bring his wife lunch. And with lunch he brought their kids, two daughters, age four and six. The hard-working, focused nurse turned into this carefree, gentle mother full of pride right before my eyes. I loved seeing her in her “mom” element as she brought her daughters around to meet everyone and introduced us as her friends. It definitely goes to show that there are work faces and there are play faces, and when you don’t see people outside of work, it is hard to see that play face.

The other revelation occurred when I compared my schedule with a dear work friend of mine. For three full weeks in a row, we worked completely opposite days. One week she worked the beginning of the week, me the end. The next week we fortunately worked the same days but we were one opposite shifts (I was on days, she was on nights). And the third week, our schedule overlapped one day (yay!) and the only coinciding days off we had in the week were filled with appointments and conflicting schedules that didn’t allow for us to hang out. That being said, this is a good friend of mine who lives ten minutes from my house whom I have only seen once in three weeks, that being at work.

So, how can you be a nurse AND have a life?

1. Plan ahead. As soon as the new schedule comes out, sit down with that friend you want to see and put a couple of dates on the calendar. Don’t pencil them in, write in pen, that way you will plan the rest of your day around seeing your friend.

2. Suck it up. Some nights after a long day when all I really want to do is go home and go to bed, I end up thoroughly enjoying myself when I force my tired legs to the bar for just one drink. It lifts my spirits and gets me thinking about something other than how busy my day was, and I get to see my friends at the same time.

3. Get social at work. Plan a baby shower, a wedding shower, whatever it may be during work hours. Even if you can only get away for 30 minutes to enjoy each other’s company, that is 30 minutes that you will spend learning about each other that you may not have spent otherwise. And invite those not working to the event. That will build camaraderie amongst the nursing staff.

What do you do to have a social life as a nurse?