Funny things only nurses get to see!
Thinkstock + Scrubs
Let’s face it: If you’ve been in nursing long enough, you’ve seen some pretty strange stuff. Take a look at some of the odd encounters our readers have experienced, and share your own in the comments section below!
- A nurse was doing a stroke assessment on an elderly patient. She asked her to smile, but the patient said that she just didn’t feel like smiling. Then the nurse said, “Well, show me your teeth.” The lady opened her mouth, took out her dentures and handed them to the dumbfounded nurse.
- One elderly gentleman asked his nurse for some tape after putting in his hearing aids. The nurse watched as the patient began to put the tape over his ears. When asked why, the patient said, “It’s to keep them hearing aids from falling out!”
- An elderly patient came out of his room during a code. With curiosity, he looked into the room at the coding patient. Deciding he didn’t want to bother anyone, he promptly urinated on the floor and wandered back to a different room. He then proceeded to climb into bed with another patient.
- A nurse encountered a patient who refused to use the toilet in his room. He would urinate on the carpet or in the trash can. The nurses thought he was confused. One night, the nurse was giving him a bath, and he needed to use the toilet. He refused to sit on the seat, and when she asked why, he replied, “Because the water is cold and it freezes my balls!” When the nurse looked, he did have enormous testicles. Turns out, he wasn’t crazy after all.
- A nurse came in for her shift and saw a patient she had a great relationship with. She said, “What’s new, Tom?” He held his hand over his head and said, “Everything under this point isn’t new at all!”
- In the middle of July, a nurse was feeding a patient when another patient came by on her wheelchair. She turned into a room that wasn’t hers and began singing “Jingle Bells.” The nurse jumped up and hurriedly pulled the confused woman out of the crowded room. The patient replied, “I guess they didn’t like it!”
- One nurse came in to start her morning shift and was surprised to see an elderly resident already up and in her chair. The nurse bent down to say hello to the lady, and she replied, “Hey, I know you. You’re my friend.” The nurse said, “That’s right. I’m your friend.” She replied, “Then get me the hell out of this place!”
What’s the strangest or funniest thing you’ve seen lately?
Lynda Lampert is a registered nurse and a certified third shift worker. She has worked with many different patient populations, including post-op open heart, post-op gastric bypass, active chest pain, congestive heart failure, poorly controlled diabetics and telemetry 'wonders'. She now focuses all of her effort on educating the populace -- both the nursing world and the normal folk -- through her web writing. She hopes one day to publish another romance novel, travel to England and become a web rock star. She feels she is on her way . . . mostly. You can learn more about Lynda and her work at lyndalampert.com.
By Lynda Lampert