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Germs have me all like…

As a nurse, you’re on the front line of the war on germs. And needless to say, the front line can be a fairly unpleasant place to be.

Especially nowadays, as the medical community continues to sound the alarm (over…and over) against the rise of drug-resistant bacteria. And because you’re more familiar than most with all the catastrophic qualities of a powerful superbug, not to mention the speed at which it travels, it’s 115 percent understandable if you’re harboring at least a small trace of “germ warfare PTSD”—also known as common sense on steroids.

And since the condition remains largely undiagnosed among nurses, we decided it might be helpful if we threw together a visual representation of all the thoughts, foibles and/or situations germ warfare PTSD may be responsible for.

We encourage you to take a look—just be sure to sanitize your hands if you’re doing so on a public device.

Now…does any of this feel kinda-sorta familiar?

At home: 

“We can do family events, but there will be no coughing, no sneezing and minimal human contact. Face masks will be available—you can find them next to the graham crackers.”

“You seriously didn’t wash your hands just now…?”

“Yeah, you could say that I haven’t been invited to a lot of block parties, but I really just feel that you can never be too safe when it comes to exposure.”

“Laundering methods? Actually, I prefer to burn all my scrubs after use.”

“Let’s be honest, it’s flu season….”

“Okay, so like…what you’re saying is that the market is actually out of my favorite hand sanitizer? The kind with the subtle citrus scent?”

 

On the job: 

“You’re so welcome, it’s been a real pleasure treating you. But wait, just out of curiosity…have you officially been cleared for human contact yet?”

“These people…they all have similar symptoms. Every. Last. One.”

“I THINK IT TOUCHED MY EXPOSED WRIST. I REALLY THINK IT DID.”

“Oh, undiagnosed, possibly undocumented symptoms, you say? Okay, fine—I’ll enter the room, but I’m not happy about it. I’d also like a few minutes to get all of my affairs in order first.”

“All I’m saying, Karen, is that there’s no way they’ve removed all traces of yesterday’s ‘incident’ from the walls already.”

“Can you maybe dispose of those gloves before joining us in the break room?”

 

When off the clock:

“Like, I want to shake your hand—I really do. I just don’t know where it’s been.”

“This club is super great….”

“MUST. AVOID. MAN. WITH. COUGH.”

“Spring Break ’15!”

 

…are we right? Or are we right?!

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