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“My patient called me…”

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We all know that patients say some crazy things…but what happens when those crazy things are directed at YOU?! Once a nickname takes hold at work, it can be hard to shake off! Check out their hilarious answers (and yes, quite a few nicknames were created by those patients!).

 

“Phone whore!” We had a very confused patient and she insisted I stole her cell phone. When we called it, it was in her purse in her closet.
—Cori Sutphin ‎

“Popsicle!” Still don’t understand that one! This patient called me that for over a year!
—Yolanda Hodges-Jefferson

Working inpatient psych, I had someone who called me “Feets” (because she said I was looking at her “feets”) and then proceeded to chase me at a full-fledged run.
—Ashley Dawson Hardison

“Master Sergeant.”
—Tina Lucky

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38 Responses to “My patient called me…”

  1. psa828 LPN

    geriatric patient says to me one day, “Hey Pillpusher hey pillpusher what’s your name?” not the most origional, but you would’ve had to been there to appreciate the humor in it. lol

  2. mrsk1026 LPN

    When I was a student at a nursing home, we had a needy and confused patient that called us Nursey. He would drag his BSC into the hallway to use it and then he would yell at us and tell us he couldn’t breathe. About a year later, we went to a funeral home and they passed around an urn… It was HIM! His family never came back to claim him after his service.

  3. standup4jc RN

    Had a patient call me the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man! BTW I do like the colors scrubs come in now.

  4. rnce21 RN

    The first semester as a new nursing student, I was giving a bed bath to a little lady with dementia that thought I was her lawyer. Apparently I wasn’t doing the job to suit her because she kept telling me that I was a good lawyer, but that her regular nurse (probably her CNA) did that job better, lol.

  5. kmillersocal

    I worked Telemetry some years back. The one name that I will never forget one of my patients calling me was “Halcion” He continued to yell for me “Halcion” all night long. LOL.

  6. tired_cna CNA

    While giving a resident a bed bath she was yelling at us “quit touching me with your coal miner hands”. Have had many a resident call me “fat ass”. My response is always the same “thats the way my husband likes it”. It usually gives them a laugh and shuts them up when they realize they didn’t make me angry.

  7. Stephanie D RN

    i worked nights on an Alzheimer’s unit for a year, and I must have reminded one elderly lady of someone she used to know, because she always called me “Edith”. Soon my co-workers were referring to me as Edith also, and would tell my little lady that “Edith” would be here soon, as she would sit in the common area and wait for me to come on at night. If I ever go into a witness protection program, I think I’ll choose that as my new name. I kinda got used to it.

  8. lcarney64 LPN

    Two stories…same alzheimers unit.

    One sweet lady called me “Father” after I wore Navy Blue scrubs with a v-neck, and white t-shirt beneath.
    Another lady always called me “Ace”. I assumed I reminded her of a son or other male relative. I asked her daughter one day and she stated they had no one in their family, or friends named Ace.

    • RNKathleen RN

      As a new nurse mrmph years ago, I had a patient call me Flash Gordon because I was always rushing around. She’d yell it out as I went by “There goes Flash Gordon !”
      On the same floor I had a patient cursing at me-in Spanish. I called my now husband who speaks Spanish and said “I had a patient curse me out” and told him the patient called me something like a bonsa (sic). My dh always told me the patient called me a stomach !! I said, NO, I don’t think that’s what he meant. I told him the context, and dh told me he probably called me, and this is phonetic, seem ber wensa, which means smarta** or pain in the a** . I laughed out loud, because that was what I was SURE he meant !!

  9. squirmals

    My supervisor and now others call me Robynator. He was checking on me one noc while I was doing an IV. “How’s it going Robynator?” My patient became very concerned and upset…”YOU ARE AN AID AND STARTING MY IV !?!?!” Couldn’t get it through to her it is a nick name…OMG!

  10. martoya

    Recently I’ve had “Medicine Woman” which was definitely preferable to “Pill Pusher”. But my absolute favorite was the dementia patient who called us all drunks! She said we were keeping kegs of whiskey in the locked med room! She was a handful!

  11. jessicastreeter Student

    Mom! I had one of my classmates help me with my patient and my patient (an elderly woman) asked me (30) if my 29 year old classmate was my daughter. No, unfortunately she didn’t have dementia and was A&OX3…SO for the rest of the semester I got to be called mom.

  12. jewelofmind LPN

    I work in a jail that runs rampant with IV drug users. One night a girl in one of the shared holding cells was demanding something for heroin withdrawls. Our policy states we do not give them anything for detox. She became very upset and called me every dirty name under the sun. Towards the end of the night she saw me walking down the hall and shouts out “Weebles Wobble” and I replied with “Yeah but we don’t fall down”. 😀

  13. valh RN

    One elderly, confused patient told me (in her most ominous voice) that she knew my name–she knew what everyone called me–Kathy. I figured out she meant like Katy Bates in Misery, but now all my coworkers just call me Kathy. Makes the residents, who aren’t in on this, wonder……

  14. Dylan_mom

    I had a patient tell me I remind him of Venus de Milo. Not sure where that came from.

  15. kay845 RN

    “Waitress”. Go figure :/

    • ahamby

      I had a patient who called me his “Gaggle Nurse” even though I am just an aide, I walked in one day and he had a room full of people, which I called a gaggle, guess it stuck. He even mentioned me as his Gaggle Nurse to my supervisor to praise my care to him and his family. That’s one nickname I don’t mind at all.

  16. Jessica Deschaines

    I was a CNA on a secure geropsych unit for 5 1/2 years – most of our patients were dealing with some sort of dementia (as opposed to other psych dx such as BPD or schizophrenia, though we got those folks too). My favorite nickname was “lollipop”, coming from an absolute gem of a man. No idea what he meant by it (though knowing him, I’m guessing it was something dirty *grin*).

    A favorite patient (80-ish, severe stroke, aphasic, 1:1 for gait and aggressions) with whom I had a great rapport with would sometimes kiss my hand, stroke my face and call me beautiful. He was quite affectionate with certain female staff that he liked, but it always made me warm and fuzzy when we had a good day together.

    A coworker was told by a *very* psychotic patient that she “was the good kind of robot”.

    I miss that job.

  17. Ayoli

    “Viking Red”. I have a resident who, for the longest time, had called me, “Pretty Hair” because she couldn’t remember my name. She has recently taken to calling me “Viking Red” because she associates it with Erik the Red, and my name is Erika. It works. xD

  18. Peterson_RN

    Once upon a time I worked in a LTC facility. One of my favorite patients would buzz around the home in his electric chair and every time he saw me he would greet me with the name “short pants”. We were allowed to wear capris so I always did since the home was always so hot. I should also mention I stand only 5’1″ compared to his 6’4″ frame.

    Another favorite insisted my name is “Crazy B*$ch” because I always had a way of convincing her to get out of bed every day.

  19. Katydid52

    I have one resident that calls me “Grandma” Not sure why, maybe because I am older than all of my co-workers.

  20. Macaela Parmely

    The green giant

  21. thefourofus03@yahoo.com

    Honky German!

  22. cnacaregiver

    I was called baby girl by a few residents due to my gentle nature.

    And bubbles by one resident because I was always giggly.

    A co-worker always called me sunshine because I wore different colorful scrubs every night and I was also constantly happy.

  23. HillRN3

    Working in a PACU I get to wake up patients who are whacked out of their mind on a regular basis. And there are times when some patients are a thousand miles away but running their mouth about lord knows what!
    The one I think will always stick with me is while attempting to reorient a patient he called me a “money hungry B*+€&”
    Each shift brings a new opportunity for crazy!

  24. Nina Petitto

    I had a patient call me, “fatty” and the next day I was “Lilac” for wearing a purple scrub.

  25. NPBolt

    I have had many nick names that have stuck from the various departments iv worked in, my two favourites is Chinese and Gary Tank. Chinese came from a lady who had delirium due to sepsis and was very confused. I went to help wash her with my colleague, i introduced my self with my real name and she said oh are you Chinese then (real name)… im like no im not Chinese, my colleague still calls me Chinese. The second name Gary tank was given to me by a patient on M-cat. who said i sounded like gary tank commander… its a scottish comedy, and now when i work in the Emergency Department one says ah its (real name) some one else says Nah its him Gar-ah. Google it

  26. carollynnSKJ Caption Contest

    While working adolescent psych, several years ago, one of the kids called me Judy Jetson.

  27. PAJ RN

    I would volunteer at various summer camps, and one year all the Scout leaders were prior military. My nickname from then on was “Doc” – a term of respect for a medic in the military. While not an “unusual name”, it was always my favorite nickname knowing the respect that came with it! :)

  28. Shelbi Suleiman

    During nursing school we wore white to clinicals. I had a patient call me “Michelin”. He said I looked like the Michelin mans wife. Oh my! Good thing I’ve lost 130lbs since then. :)

  29. newnurse72

    Where I work, nave uniforms for RN’s is required — all dressed in navy, one day a patient called me the “Blue Ninja” lol

  30. evslpn

    I am a female nurse with red hair that teaches past the middle of my back. I work at a nursing home with a dementia patient who insists I am a guy. He calls me “Gordy”.

  31. Ryan Rush

    Had a hospice patient whisper to his son “he’s a lesbian!” while laughing hysterically.

  32. hotrod41

    I was called “an angel of mercy” and “Nurse Ratchet” all within 10 min. by two different pts.

  33. Julia McInerney

    I’ve been called every four letter word out there. Just gotta take it and not let it bother you

  34. Alexandra Tilton

    I was neuro assessing a postictal patient and asked what my name was, she knew me well. She said with seriousness “pizzazz” I asked again and she answered “monkey”.

  35. Tamlin Winlaw

    When I was working in Dementia care a resident told me that I was ‘an angel’ then proceeded to tell me that she could ‘see my wings’.

  36. BendyEm

    I went to see a patient with dysphasia after my break, and she said “Oh, oh ummm; Smells-Nice!”
    I’d just topped up my body spray, and she liked the smell!
    When I came back in my civvies the next day, to get some paperwork, she only recognised me by taking a sniff. A big grin came over her face as she said “Smells-Nice!”

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