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Overheard from the nurse’s station V

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Sometimes the things you hear on your shift are funnier than any sitcom on TV! We asked you what you’ve overheard from the nurse’s station recently (see the first, second, third and fourth versions of these hilarious anecdotes here) and we weren’t disappointed! Here are the best conversations you’ve been hearing.

 

1. P.T.

Nurse 1: That patient needs P.T.
Nurse 2: The physical therapist was just in to see him.
Nurse 1: No, not that kind of P.T., I mean pillow therapy.
Nurse 2: What’s that?
Nurse 1: When you place the pillow firmly over the patient’s face!
Overheard by Marjorie

2. The KILLING FIELD

A deceased resident’s family member brought in a live plant and asked if we would like it. My co-charge nurse responded, “No way. We kill things here.” She immediately realized what she said, but the family member didn’t catch it. We still laugh about that one.
Overheard by Tami

3. SEDUCT-ATIVE

Patient’s wife: The nurse just went in to seduce my husband.
(She meant “sedate”!)
Overheard by Deldonna

4. VISITATION RIGHTS

Patient: (to home health nurse) No, I don’t want you to come for a visit today.
Nurse: Oh, why?
Patient: I don’t feel good!
Overheard by Annette

5. THE BODY ELECTRIC

Patient: Nurse, my electric lights aren’t on!
(He meant “electrolytes.”)
Overheard by Nurse Farmer

6. MY SON HURTS!

Dad: (pointing to his little boy’s genital area) It hurts him down there.
Nurse: Do you mean his testicles hurt?
Dad: Yeah, and his balls hurt, too.
Overheard by Andrea

What have you overheard recently? Share it in the comments section below!

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11 Responses to Overheard from the nurse’s station V

  1. loveladyingreen RN

    During a moc code, your could hear coming out of a pt ‘s room, the compression team singing ” another opne bites the dust”

  2. taramisu

    Phone call to the ED:
    Caller: “Can I get AIDS if I accidentally gave another guy a blow job?”
    Me: “…”

  3. nurselove LPN

    Nurse: did you have all your babies vaginally or any sections?
    Patient: aww naw they was all sexual!

  4. OBPedsRN

    RN1: That pt needs an immediate defenestration!!
    RN2: Whats that?
    RN1: Thrown out the window!!

  5. TrAuMAJuNkIE

    Nurse: Hey, did you see that guys BP?
    Old Doc (looks at the BP): Je***, That guys blood pressure is higher than a pre-teens balls!

  6. traumaqueen

    My patient just had a major seizure. I was about to explain to his wife why he was unresponsive when she blurted out “I take care of him all the time. I know he is post-coital!” Even the Doctors started to laugh at that one.

  7. hotnurse1

    Phone rings at 3am
    Me: ER..
    Pt: Are you open?
    Me: Yes
    Pt: Are there doctors awake to take care of people?
    Me: Yes, they are here. (really wanted to say no, but any procedure can be done now that we have You Tube)

  8. Mrs.Robb08

    The nurse from telly called to ask if the patient who was going in for surgery was going to need an IV

  9. leighlee

    I had a patient who called me at the nurses station and said he neededme to come and castrate him because he couldn’t pee…..I asked if he was sure, lol

  10. erccrn

    standing at a patients bedside when he asked if he had to take off his underwear for surgery and the surgeon said ” I think the OR nurses prefer that” and couldn’t understand why I laughed and said “I bet they do too”

  11. Sandra DeMars

    Let’s hear it for the Huc’s!

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