July 19, 2010
Image: Jupiterimages | liquidlibrary | © Getty Images
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The caption for this photo should read, “I swear to GOD I’m going to take this stethoscope, wrap it around that (insert coworker’s or physician’s name) neck, & SQUEEZE if (insert name again) doesn’t shut up!!!!”
“I’d like to give her more than just a little cheese with that whine!”
OK I will not show you it again but it really does only listen to your chest and has nothing to do with a voodoo spell that the doctor wants to put on you.
Stethoscope Bondage the latest nursing craze and yes there is an app for that!!!
How much longer is this doctor going to pretend to fiddle with this patients chest before he realizes that his stethoscope isn’t around his neck.
1 one thousand…. breathe, 2 one thousand……I will do no harm…Oh! You’re done chewing me out for something I had no control over?? “I’m sorry you had such a negative experience, we will have a better night tonight.. Sorry please excuse me I’m getting an emergency page.”
Your stethoscope Doctor? No, I haven’t seen your stethoscope.
Why do doctors have to make their rounds right when my shift starts and I need to assess my patients?
If I don’t keep this in my hands it will be around that drs. neck!
Mrs. Smith would like a back masage, foot massage, toe nails clipped, and a cup of ginsing tea before you start your rounds please.
Oh Doctor, what great toys you have.
The last time I let a Doctor Green borrow my stethoscope He never returned it . Well guess what Doctor Green I got it now!
*thinks to herself*
“grr should I strangle you now or later”
I swear, if that Dr. screams ONE MORE TIME, “Who has this patient!!”….*grrr*
As you can see by this demonstration, if we attach an additional set of arms to the nurses back as shown, they will be able to address 2 patients at a time.
(Repeating to herself), I will not strangle the doctor, I will not strangle the doctor.
Why No, Dr. I haven’t seen your stethoscope. Sure, I will get right to trying to find it. No, it’s ok, my 8 patients can wait while I go find your stethoscope!
It is never safe to loan a Doctor your stethoscope.
With out your stethoscope you are useles, bwa ha ha ha ! (Evil laugh and thunder).
Controversial? Yes. But Nurse Croft swore by her “Surprise Auscultation” technique. No one ever saw it coming.
This is the only stretching exercise I get. Stethescopes are multifunctional.
It’s either I hide my stethoscope so she thinks I don’t have it, and in doing so won’t be able to borrow it, or tell her that I have some type of mutated ear infection.
I will show restraint.& I will not open my mouth to say what I think.. I will, I will show restraint.1,2,3,4, (counting to 10)
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First day of clinical experience and Janey is already wondering how she is going to survive the semester with the Dragon Lady…