July 6, 2010
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“I’m too sexy for my scrubs!”
Seems as though I made a fatal error when reading your bloods Mr. Smith….you actually aren’t going to pass on in four weeks – I was actually reading MY blood work results….!!!!
Hmmmm…what’s a 13 letter word for the patient that comes into the ED every week with different complaints?
OK, the nurse is to do vitals every 15 minutes. Give the red pill every 10 minutes and a compleat bed bath once an hour. There that should keep her busy.
Lets see…..I will order this and this and oh yea this one looks good too….that ought to keep everyone else busy while i nap….
Hmmmmm……Now if I could just read my own handwriting…..
Are you feeling tired, stressed, overworked? NO!? Great, we’re planning on adding about ten more pages to the new admission packet to help you get back on track.
Hi my name is Jeff as soon as I am finished with the paperwork I will have 5min out of 12 hours to really take care of you and your needs
Oh, I’m sorry. What did you say? I was not listening to you because I had to finish my documentation.
Please, go ahead. I am listening now….
I am going to try to look like I am interested in taking their history, but gosh have I got to go to the bathroom!?#$%
…+ 0.25, carry the 1…hmmm maybe I’d better let the Nurse do the calculations!
“…if ONLY I had my laptop (sigh), I could be out on the golf course right now”
It recommends 100 mg per kg in divided doses twice a day…..what the heck – I’ll just write for 2 grams ever 12 hours and let the nurse call me with the correct dose.
((Hmm..so doctor says he has pneumonoultramicroscopicilicovolcanoconiosis thing-a-magig… okay so P-N-E-U-M-O-N.. umm… I-A, oh well same thing, better not initial it..))
I must be tired. Wrong chart, wrong patient,wrong floor !!!!!
Let’s see…turkey,chedder,pickles,lettuce,peppers, mayo, whole wheat
Somebody give me a three letter abbreviation for difficult patient….