Last Week’s Winner
“Tune in next week to find out which student nurse gets eliminated!”
- submitted by Rebecca Kozowyk
This Week’s Contest – March 21, 2011
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What’s your best caption? Leave it it in our comments. Be sure to check back next week when we pick the winner!
See our past winners here!
“My magic medicine cup make ALL my troubles fade away….even the irritating, demanding patients!”
Here’s you silver bullet!
I told the patient we were out of narcotics and he dissapeared!
ah hah! the specimen of liquid gold!!
Nurse brings empty cup into room and quickly exits to retrieve the patients meds. Nurse arrives back to the room and finds a suprise.
Laughing to herself. Nurse states “I said I’ll be right back to give your meds po, not I’ll be right back to get your poo.”
I said I would be right back to give your meds po, NOT that I would be right back to get your poo!
Sorry, you’re on fluid restrictions and you can only have this 30 ml of water to take your 15 pills with!
Really…..takes like cherries!
(Just out of view is the patient):” Excuse me nurse, you want me to pee in what?….”
“Mr. Davis, you are the proud father of a baby stone!”
“Nothing like a fresh sample of pee to start the morning.”
Oh Dear ! If only I had my glasses !
In the great kidney stone rush of 2011, Sheryl knew she had struck it rich with 36 grams of the finest oxalate this side of the Mississippi!
“Cheers!”
A dose of ” Let it snow” should keep him quiet all night!
Is that 5 oz or 8 oz?? I can’t see anything without my glasses.
There you are! I knew I’d find you sooner or later!
“This reminds me, I am really thirsty.”
How is your aim today?
“No Sir, I promise. It’s lemonade”
No, sir I think you are quite capable of going in the cup on your own!
Nurse: Drink THIS and you’ll thank me! he he he…..
“Look what we recovered from your colonoscopy!”
1 for the patient 2 for the nurse!! lol
1 for the patient 2 for the nurse
“Mr Smith, your sake’ shot is glowing today…”
That’s quite a rock. I just might have it mounted in a platinum setting.
“Thanks for rolling over Mr Murphy, I knew I left my coffee cup in here”
“Now, THAT’S what I call a specimen!”
You want me to do what!?!
I guess the JCPenney bra catalogue isn’t working. Maybe a breastfeeding video will help get a specimen.
Yes this IS the “magic pill” that will treat the pain, nausea, runny nose, gas pains, gout, arthritis, sore throat, UTI, headache, back spasms, rash, diarhea, earache, sinus infection, ulcer, fever and sleeplessness that we give to all our patients here at QuickCare Urgent Care Center!
Vitamin “H”, the vitamin of choice…….(Haldol, makes all the troubles disappear)
One more shot of tequila should get me through this shift!
Only 30 more glasses left for you to drink of your Golightly Mr.Cooper !
Guess the patient thought he was in a restaurant! I just received a tip!
Threathen a cathether…get a specimen. Works every time!
If your BM is diamonds, your urine must be GOLD!!!
“I can’t remember if this was the med cup or the specimen cup . . . darn those call lights!”
I knew my little pep talk would scare it out of him
This should shut him up!
This should shut him up!
Long since divorced .. Nurse Nancy brings in THE BLUE PILL … and hopes….
WHAT! YOU GOING TO FEEL MY PENAL PULSES?? NO SIR, I SAID I’M GOING TO FEEL YOUR PEDAL PULSES. AHH WHAT A RELIEF….SIGHS…..
“I guess this will have to do!”
“This magic pill will make everything all better”
The patient asks, “Nurse, is everything okay?”
Nurse says, “Well, Mr. Deadam, let me put it in a nutshell…” Nurse smiles and looks at the cup
“…All that glitters is “not” Gold…………….ahaa hah ha”
Patient asks, “Nurse, is everything okay?”
“Well, Mr. Needham, in a nutshell: Not everything that glitters is Gold……aaha,ha, haa”
“I can’t remember if this is the radioactive Xanax or the regular. Hum??????!!!!
I never thought hospital costs would come to this-”coin operated beds”!
Down the hatch!
Looks like Kibbles and BIts to me.
Pee u, that could burn your nasal hairs.
“I’ve got your Percocet chaser you requested sir”
A shot of Tiger Blood and you’ll be WINNING in no time, Mr. Sheen.
You left me a urine sample? I’ll drink to that!
You never know what you’re going to find in there..
I’ll need a specimen…..
Mmmmm, thank you Mr. Smith for the lovely cup of hot lemonade. Its just the perfect thing for my sore throat.
I love it when it all goes in the cup, and not ALL over me!
Bottoms up! No, I really mean to put your bottom up.
“So, Mr. Needham, not all that glitters is gold”
“Sir,I am a nurse. I know that urine is yellow and warm. This is cold and clear. Faucet water won’t work. Try again.”
Bottoms up! It’s 5 o’clock somewhere.
EUREKA!
Cheers!! Thank God for Xanax. Now if I could just get my patient to take one.
Like a pill will help you were your going. Cheers! Next dose in 4 hours, see ya then.
“What’s it for?…its to help you stay off the call light.”
Yes! I FOUND it! Slippery little bugger it is!
Students…back in my day we used a quarter, but the real super nurse these days can test the quality of bed making by bouncing this full urine cup without a spill. Who wants to go first?
You should see the alternative…
Sir. That only works for Mary Poppins ; sugar will NOT make this taste any better..
Yes … it is a pretty color !
Was this the apple juice?
Where did you say you went on your last business trip Mr Smith?
Here’s to your health!
Princess and the PEE!
Heck of a way to get a diamond, but I’ll keep it!
“Too much junk-in-the-trunk” scrubs !!
Charlene starting liking her job a lot more once she discovered she could pull tequila shots out of the Pyxis.
Yum yum give me some!
It either goes in the cup or my glove goes up your rump !
Look Mr. Smith either you take this xanax or It will be a 14 G needle of ativan to the sensitive muscle of my choice.
trust me…. THIS will move those bowels
mmmmmm… apple juice
Here’s your cocktail. Winning!!
You had yours!
It’s a “shot”, a neddle-less shot!
“Just need a little lime and salt!” “Bottoms up!”
RN
Registered Nurse
Re: The Nurse who ‘worked the streets’.
I LOVE this story!
And to the Nurse: Thank you for ‘serving’ for so long!
…… and one for me!!