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The nurse’s guide to MD specialists

moshimochi | Veer

Being a nurse is an exercise in dealing with unending streams of urgent situations and near crises while having to make just as many snap decisions. Helpful and humorous, this guide breaks down the various specialist personalities to help you determine which doc to turn to (or avoid) when you’re in the next big jam.

Internal Medicine
Fit, well-dressed, with a cholesterol of 130 and the oddest prescribing habits you’ve ever seen. If you need electrolytes repleted or your INR brought to its proper level (that’s a measure of clotting time that’s influenced by Coumadin), the internal med specialist is your gal. Or guy. If you’re a nurse, having an internal med consult means that you’ll be cutting tablets into quarters and giving 7.5 mg of something that comes in a 25 mg dosage, but only on alternate Thursdays during the dark of the moon.

Neurologists, neurosurgeons and orthopods –>

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9 Responses to The nurse’s guide to MD specialists

  1. Helen

    Used to work with a group of Cardiac surgeons. One wore designer clothing hand made Italian shoes that looked like slppersand drove a Rolls. When I was new pregnant I almost threw up on him when he wanted me to help him remove 4 sets of chest tubes. Later when I made a comment about my body functions, several other Dr’s told me that they would have paid me to have me ruin his Italian shoes. His partner was the sweetest nicest guy with 4 kids and a fear of looking “pretentious” . Their other partner swore like a sailor and even the hospital operators didn’t like talking to him. When I called him to tell him that a guy’s sternal incision had come open he said “What the *^&%%$ do you mean come open?” I said “Well, I can see his heart pump.” Their other partner drove a fast motorcycle and got caught in the back stairwell with an ICU nurse. Whether it’s designer clothing, adrenalin or language, Cardiac surgeons are extreme and on the edge. On the edge of what is in the eye of the beholder.

  2. helen

    Your description of Neurologists is spot on. Knew a Neurologist once who gave my ex-boyfriend a bad time because “He didn’t treat you right” Talk about courtly.

  3. Jenny

    I really enjoyed this article. Your descriptions were pretty much on the mark. Gastroenterologists have a certain way about them. Most of them I work with are the quiet type who don’t get to upset about much. One of GI Drs I work with always dresses immaculately. The first time I saw him I though Clark Gable had entered the unit. He always has a very sharp suit on unless he is “dressed down” which consists of a pair of slacks, turtle neck and suit coat.

  4. I spent a day with a bunch of Gastroenterologists…VERY nice people, even if they get really excited about polyps.

    Emergency Docs: Love ’em. They’re insane, of course, but they have REALLY cool hobbies. I’ve met more ice-climbing and mountaineering ER docs than any other specialty.

  5. SunshineRN

    Helen, you have just described in disturbing detail a Cardiac Surgeon where I used to work!!

    And Alpine that’s too funny about the ER docs. The play I worked included a bunch of mountain Hiking, cyclist doctors!

  6. Granny RN

    To helen:
    Loved your ‘doctor caught in stairwell with nurse’ tale.
    When I was in orientation at a large urban hospital about 15 years ago, the ‘elder MD’ who was head of the hospital’s ethics committee gave his spiel to the group in which he cited (and gave NAMES!) an incident where one of the cardiologists was caught by security receiving a ‘special treatment’ out in the bushes of the parking lot. Hilarious!

  7. Jenny

    Bahaha! So true about orthopods being the jocks – and they won’t let you forget it, either! You forgot otolaryngologists, who I’ve found are the nerdier bunch of docs. But super smart, and super confident in their work.

    I also think you can look at surgeons vs. medical docs, cause surgeons are a whole different breed!

  8. RN369

    When my son was in an accident, I had contact with a multitude of orthopedic doctors. It was the first time I noticed that almost all of them were shorter than me..I’m 5’8”.My son was 15 & they were telling me that he was finished growing. Each time I said I was surprised that he wouldn’t be taller..”only 5’8′?”..then I realized that I was literally looking down at them. Made me wonder if they had a subconscious desire to discover a method to promote growth…only because I have always found males to be quite conscious of their height. Never met a male who didn’t add an inch when reporting this measurement.

  9. Lauralea RN

    Very clever to avoid the cardiac surgeons personality. But you left off anesthesiologist, the party animals. I know one thathero ides 2 acres for parking and overnight camping at his summer party each year, and the jello shots are abundant. Still, one of my favorite episodes was a neurologist and a psychiatrist standing outside a patients room arguing over the issue was the patients problem “organic” or not!

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