The top 10 funniest pieces of advice you got in nursing school

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Nursing schools are notoriously tough, and soon-to-be nurses typically are given all sorts of advice on how to survive. Is most of the advice helpful? Sure. But usually it’s dry, dry, dry. So we asked our Facebook community for the funniest pieces of advice they received when they were in nursing school. Not only are these tips helpful, but they’re also hilarious!

The top 10 funniest pieces of advice you got in nursing school

1. I had an instructor who was a nun. When doing my first male catheter, she said to me, “You have to grab it like you own it.” Not sure who was more embarrassed, me or the patient!
—Terri King Howard

2. “Never trust a fart.” :-0
—Carrie Barnes Blackley

3. “Keep your fingernails trimmed, but leave one sharp and pointy to pop the blister packs the meds come in.”
—Tina Parks

4. My teacher would say, “When washing your hands, scrub until your boobies shake!”
—Sarah Trusewicz Sutton

5. “Always document through the eyes of an attorney…a lying, dirty attorney!”
—Kryston Leah Salsman

6. “Always, always wear two gloves when giving a supp. Because do you really want to depend on one glove when you’re knuckle-deep in a stranger’s rectum?”
—Melinda Girot

7. The first and best advice I got from a nurse on the first-ever day of clinical: “When you have to pee, pee, ’cause it could be 10 hours before you get another chance!”
—Jessica James

8. “Don’t stand too close when cleaning up a Code Brown—there may be more coming!”
—Connie McCarty Louden

9. “If it’s wet and it’s not yours, don’t touch it! Put on gloves first!”
—Roxanne Schultheis
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10. “When you can eat lunch with poo/blood on your scrubs, THEN you’re a real nurse!”
—Tina Seamon

What’s the funniest advice you received when you were in nursing school?