Things that no nurse would ever say

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We know that there are things nurses say every day. And then there are things that only nurses say. But we also know there are things that nurses would NEVER say.

Something like: “I feel so energized after that 12-hour shift…” Said no nurse ever!

Over on our Facebook Funny Nurses page, we asked nurses what they would never say. Check out some of the great responses below, and be sure to leave your own in the comments section!

“Management was right after all.”
—Steve C.

“My salary is too much.”
—Adebisi T.

“I would love nothing more than to answer your call light 15 times in 12 minutes. I have so much free time.”
—Natalie B.

“…No problem. I was just on my 30-minute lunch break.”
—Melissa Montalvo

“I’m so happy that I get to work on weekends and all major holidays!”
Shan L.

“To a co-worker: ‘Sure, I’ll go check on your patient who’s not breathing well, puking and bleeding out…you just continue to Facebook while I take care of that for you!!!’”
—Michele B.

“I would love to pull a double the night of a full moon!”
—Tiffany J.

“We always have so much staff, I get bored…never enough to do! Thank you, nursing supervisor, for always getting us so much help!!!”
—Michele B.

“I just LOVE removing impactions just before lunch!”
—Donna M.

“I don’t need to pee. I did that before my shift started, eight hours ago.”
—Larissa H.

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7 Responses to Things that no nurse would ever say

  1. carolslee1949

    “No thanks, I don’t need any coffee. I’m pumped just being here!”

  2. babytoes

    Thank you so much for giving me 3 discharges who don’t speak any English. I just LOVE our translation services.

  3. Allie

    Of course your friends can bring you drugs…just feel free to inject them into your PICC!

  4. bahamagirl

    I would never say ” I am so happy to work overtime again because you have no one to relieve me”

  5. Karen Lloyd

    Things you’ll never hear a nurse say No problem I don’t need to eat or drink until I’ve finished my shift, I’ll be happy to cover you whilst you go & ring your agency about next weeks shifts!

  6. JerZFox RN

    “It’s QUIET here.”