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A nurse’s survival guide to holiday gift shopping

woman-with-shopping-bags

Not to be a grouch (because it’s the holiday season, after all!) but shopping while juggling a wacky nurse’s schedule can feel like merciless torture. Take the list below with a grain of salt (I’m mostly just venting) but you may notice a few nuggets of genuine advice. Here goes…

 

A nurse’s survival guide to holiday gift shopping

1. Shop online. BOOM.

2. If you must go out to the stores, do it on a Wednesday, at 2 p.m. Most likely the older folks are off to dinner and the parents are picking the kids up from school.

3. Delegate. As much as possible. Then, if it doesn’t get done, you get to blame the four-year-old to whom you delegated the Christmas shopping for tasks unfinished.

4. Get a prescription for Ativan just in case you have to go shopping on any other day and time than Wednesday at 2 pm.

5. Bring back the “Your present is in the mail” line. Then, when it doesn’t get there, blame it on the post office person. Blame it on the economy. Or like Milli Vanilli, blame it on the rain.

6. Give everyone you know a fruit cake. Tell them it’s really expensive, vintage fruit cake.

7. Carry a flask of something that can give you the tingles in your bag or pocket. Use if you have to go shopping on any other day and time than Wednesday at 2 p.m.

8. Get everyone on your list gift cards from the supermarket. Shopping can be done in less than twenty minutes.

9. Take an Ativan and a swig of your flask in case you have to go shopping on any other day and time than Wednesday at 2 p.m.

10. The best way to survive the holiday gift shopping is…schedule yourself to work. Depending on your family, 12 hours dealing with Code Browns and Hard Restraints may be the most relaxing thing you’ve done all year.

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Rebekah Child

Rebekah Child attended the University of Southern California for her bachelor's in nursing and decided to brave the academic waters and return for her master's in nursing education, graduating in 2003 from Mount St. Mary's. Rebekah has also taught nursing clinical and theory at numerous Southern California nursing schools and has been an emergency nurse since 2002. She is currently one of the clinical educators for an emergency department in Southern California and a student (again!) in the doctoral program at the University of California, Los Angeles.
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2 Responses to A nurse’s survival guide to holiday gift shopping

  1. Sean Dent Scrubs Blogger

    I almost fell outta my chair after reading #4. Then I read the rest and couldn’t stop laughing. LOVE it!

  2. Martha Barber

    I love #4 and #6. In fact, those that receive the fruit cake can actually re-gift it. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. No need to eat it. It lasts forever. In fact, I think there’s only one fruit cake in the world, making its way round and round. Maybe I’ll run into you at the mall on Wednesdays at 2pm :) Happy Holidays!

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