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Top 10 things a nurse would say to John Connor

Terminator SalvationNurses are facing a grave danger this summer.  A grave danger, that is, to their reputation as the most dedicated uniformed lifesavers on the planet!  Terminator Salvation has hit the screens this summer with Christian Bale playing the ‘stop-at-nothing’ title character John Connor bent on saving all humans from destruction by the machines.

One has to wonder: What kind of advice would a seasoned pro from the ranks of the world’s oldest profession – nursing – have for the brash, fiery John Connor?   We answer that question here in Scrubs Magazine’s

Top Ten Things a Nurse Would Say to John Connor in Terminator Salvation:

10. “No, John, I’m not a machine. I’m just a highly competent nurse.”

9. “You’re not going after your father until I get your height and weight!”

8. “The first rule in leading a successful resistance is to wash your hands.”

7. “Even in the future, this thing can be stuck in your you-know-where if you don’t sit still!””

6. “How do you know when you’re dealing with a man and not a machine? If it asks for more Jell-O, it’s definitely a man.”

5. “You think saving the world is hard? Try working three back-to-back evening shifts!”

4. “Hey, you need a sense of humor if you’re going to get through this!”

3. [Looking at x-ray] “No, your wife’s not having a boy—that’s a little girl holding a machine gun.”

2. “Wow, and I thought my uniform got messy!”

1. “Stop barking at me, fella—I’ve been saving lives a lot longer than you.”

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