Strange diagnosis
A first year student in her first month of clinicals in a general surgery ward gave this report of her patient to her clinical instructor:
“My patient Mr. X is a 45-year-old gentleman who has been diagnosed to have a calcium stomach.”
The instructor was confused as she had never heard of a calcium stomach. When she opened the patient’s history sheet, it turned out to be carcinoma – Ca Stomach.
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I was cleaning an older patient up one time while changing his diaper. When I began to use a warm wipe, I heard the patient mumble, “I’ll give you 30 minutes to stop that.” Caught off gaurd, I just said, “Oh ok,” finished what I was doing and left the room with a little grin on my face! At least he had som pleasure from the experience!!
Loved the story, but having worked in long term care for over 20 years the use of the word “diaper” when referring to adults is considered a dignity issue. We use the word “brief”.
When my daughter was five she came down with chicken pox; but when gramma came to the house and asked her how she was she said Gramma I been sick I got poke-a-dots
Once, We had and 80+ elderly gentleman with AMS coming out of his room naked and cursing terribly. No one could get him to back into his room or into bed. I asked him “does your mother know you cuss like this?” He sheepishly said “No” and turned around and got back in bed like a little child. How sweet!
When I was a nursing student I had the privilege of doing clinicals in a Nursing Home. While I was giving an older gentleman a sponge bath, he said very nonchalantly, “About that woody… Sorry if I get one, sorry if I don’t.” I wanted to laugh but knew for sure my instructor wouldn’t approve. Had the hardest time finishing the bath with a straight face.
I can see nothing funny or amusing about having a colostomy resited after enduring necrotsing fasciatis. I cannot understand anyone who has endured any kind of colostomy surgery that is amusing
as I was starting my shift the other day I found a post-it note on the nurses sation that read ‘ agnus is making a funny noise’ and I got concerned because frist I thought did someone write this down as a reminder to check her and if so did they. and then i reallized that the note was next to her 02 tank and that it was making a funny noise !!!! not her
RN
Registered Nurse
My elderly patient’s daughter put on the call bell and said “Yeah……..we’re gonna need colder ice than this, and you need to find my mom a less dingy gown.” She was serious about both “requests”.
Years ago when I was a CNA, I had two ladies that were in the same room,,my assignment that evening was to get them both up and park them in the Hallway (In the sunshine) The first one was a bit more able bodied, but she was almost blind from macular degeneration, I handed her her foley cathater bag, told her it was her purse,,she held on to it like it was GOLD,,, first she says,,”this is a terrible purse, I can’t get the catch open”,,,, I said after getting her seated in the wheelchair ” That’s OK,, I’ll just hang it on your chair…….. I parked her in the hall, gave her some apple juice and went to get the other lady…… Coming down the hall with her,,,my first lady looks up,,,,,chokes and spits out her apple juice and yells,,,”Hey,, Hey,, She Stole MY purse !” I nearly peed in my pants laughing!!!