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Your funniest nursing school moments!

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Every nurse has nursing school stories…but some are racier than others!

We asked our Facebook fans for their funniest stories from nursing school, and boy, did we get an eyeful. Read on for some hilarious, crazy and occasionally R-rated responses!

I was demonstrating an indwelling catheter to my instructor with a sim patient in lab. When I got ready to insert the tubing, the right leg fell off.
Sue Stuchlik

On my very first day of LPN clinical, one dear little lady came up to me and gently tugged on my sleeve. I turned and she motioned for me to hold out my hand. I did, and she spit out her oatmeal-covered dentures right into my hand. I had to do some big-time self-talk: “Okay stomach, easy girl, down stomach.” I managed to keep my composure and smiled. Nothing ever rattled me as much as that day did!
Carol Salminen

I was going to give a glue shot for the first time to an elderly man. He asked, “Will it hurt?” I said, “It can.” I gave him the injection and just as I stuck the needle in his arm, he yelled out, “Somebody call 911!” It frightened me, but I laughed afterward….
Stacy Flanick

When I was in nursing school, I had a patient who was put on a low-salt diet. My instructor told me this would be a good opportunity to get in a teaching care plan. I went through everything in detail, giving my patient examples of foods to eat and even going through her regular foods she ate at home. When we finished, she thanked me and said that this would be a great help to her. When I went back to check on her, a family member was present and had just brought her McDonald’s per the patient’s request. Both looked at me for a few seconds with that “caught red-handed” look. Breaking the silence, my patient said, “I didn’t put any salt on it.” I couldn’t help but smile and nod, and think to myself that it was a start.
Lauriel Finch

A friend and I were working at a nursing home and helping to bathe an elderly lady. We had been taught to let patients do all they were capable of for themselves, so we helped the woman get ready to put her clothes on. We put on her panties and pulled them to her knees, and placed her hands on each side of the panties. After a few minutes, she looked at us and, bless her sweet heart, she said, “Tell me, children, was I taking these off or putting them on?” We told her she was putting them on, so go ahead, it was all right.
Lenita Merryman

My very first day in a hospital on my first med-surg rotation, my first patient was in renal failure, liver failure, Spanish-speaking only (I know about five words in Spanish and the only English words he knew were profanities, which he used on me all day), confused, covered in tattoos and, best of all, he had an open wound on his penis. I was left to do all of his care (I have no clue where the nurse assigned to him/me was all day), including cleaning and applying antibiotic ointment to the wound twice a day. He was so confused that he only knew he hurt down there, so most of my day was spent imploring him through hand motions and drawings to leave his penis alone. The poor guy helped lead me to a career in the NICU and women’s health!
Megan Teague

I was on a med-surg floor during my clinicals, and I had a patient with a colostomy bag. My instructor asked me to describe the bowel matter, and I said, “Fluffy.” She replied, laughing, “A fluffy BM? I’ve never heard that before!”
Tina Marie

I was watching a guy in his 50s get a kidney stone blasted. I was standing in the back so I wouldn’t be in the way. When the nurse came over to the draped patient, her eyes got big and she said, “OMG, you have to look at this!” The doctor came over and started laughing. I went over there and gasped at what I saw: Here’s this 50-something-year-old guy with a spider tattooed on his penis! I couldn’t wait to tell my instructor. She said to ask him about it. I was too curious to just let it go, so I went to my patient’s room and made a little small talk, and then I threw in, “So….inquiring minds would like to know the story behind the spider.” He chuckled and said, “Because when it grows, it turns into a tarantula!” I got really red, turned around and just walked out.
Jennifer Dixon

What’s your funniest nursing school story?

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4 Responses to Your funniest nursing school moments!

  1. xgreenxeyesx

    I actually have two funny stories. The first was during my check off for catheters. I was inserting the foley into the male dummy. I inflated the balloon and well…the dummy’s member fell off. It took everything I had not to bust out laughing and I could tell my instructor was fighting not to laugh as well. I looked at her and she looked at me and I said “Well, it’s official, I killed my patient.” She said “Oh no, he isn’t dead…”. Then I replied “Well, I’m pretty sure he thinks he is after that fell off.” At that point she and I both died laughing. Luckily, despite the mishap, I still passed. The second story was actually on my first med-surg rotation. I was doing admission on a patient. He was being admitted for a very large ulcer infected with MRSA on his left leg, and he did not have a right leg due to a similar incident years ago. He mentioned that he was in pain and would really like his pain meds. I told him I would get them and be right back. Well, in the few minutes it took for me to get them, answer one of my other patients call lights, and return to his room, he had disappeared. I went looking for him and he was nowhere to be found on the floor. I saw my instructor at the desk, which was in front of the elevator, so I asked her if she had seen him. I didn’t have any better way to describe him to her than to say he was a one legged man in a wheelchair. She claimed to have not seen him, but told me I had better find him because this was a safety issue and could result in an NI. Since this was still in my first year, I began to panic slightly. I had never had anything like this happen before. I knew he couldn’t have gone down the stairs, so had to have passed the nurses station. I asked a couple of the nurses and another student, but no one had a clue who I was talking about. I decided to see if, maybe, he was outside. Since he had the distinct smell of cigarette smoke on him and his belongings, I figured this was a safe bet, even though it was not allowed and was a smoke free campus. After searching three parking lots, I found him, in the 20 degree weather, in the back of the furthest parking lot. To this day my instructor jokes about how I lost my one legged patient…

  2. IsaacsOK

    I’ve been retired for many years, but I still relate to these stories. Some things never change!

  3. amina4ae

    As a LPN student, I needed to insert an indwelling foley catheter to a mental health patient that just so happened to be in his 20’s. I went into the room with fellow students, introduced myself and told him what I was preparing to do and why. He happily agreed and said so when are you coming to do that? I told him I would gather my supplies and be in 5 mins… Entering room, providing privacy(with exception to instructor and other students, I pull back the blankets to find him with a FULL BLOWN ERECTION! I turned seven shades of red, looked over to instructor for direction and she states to him as he’s smiling away… When you take care of this we will return!!!!!!!

  4. nursingforever71

    I once asked a very junior nurse to clean the false teeth of all the elderly patients in the ward S he went around with a large bowl and collected everyone teeth ….at once.When we asked how she knew who belonged to each set she stated no…..When i was leaving to go home there were people with 2 top sets in their mouths or 2 bottom sets ect Almost caused world war 3.!!!!

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