10 things only a nurse would say


How do you KNOW you’re a nurse? When you find yourself uttering any or all of these phrases that only nurses will “get!”
10 things only a nurse would say:

1. At a party, when somebody tells “the grossest story ever”: “Is that the best you can do?”

2. Before another party, to your significant other: “Remember, I’m an accountant.”

3. To any child, anywhere: “Are you bleeding? Are there any parts missing? No? You’ll be fine.”

4. At the end of the day: “Let me just (CLUNK) unload (TINKLE) my (CRUNCH CRUNCH) pockets and I’ll be (SMASH KERTHUNK WOBBLE) right with (SLAM) you.”

5. Tasting the punch at a wedding: “They call this spiked?”

Agatha Lellis
Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at

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