I discovered the “First World Problems” meme on the Internet the other day and thought to myself, “What are some great ‘First World Problems’ that only nurses could relate to?” Somehow my list morphed into haphazard blunders that miigggght have happened to me. Enjoy the laughs…any of these ever happen to you?
12 problems only nurses have!
1. Am I the only one who cannot open a blister packaged pill?
- Child-proof? I need special training to open these things!
2. Why do the patients who cannot swallow have the most PO meds (pills)?
- A pill to counteract the side effects of pill #1, and then another pill to prevent the side effects of pill #2… seriously? Take. One. Pill. At. A. Time.
3. Why are the largest patients put in the smallest rooms?
- Can you say packed like sardines?! These same patients usually code, or have some sort of bedside procedure that requires everybody and their brother to be in the room at the same time!
4. Do any of the remote controls actually work in patient rooms?
- Either I fix and reprogram the remote or my patient will hit the call bell every five minutes wanting to know where maintenance is to fix this oh-so-obvious emergency.
5. Why are there only two room temperature settings: frozen tundra or sauna hot?
- I’m either sweating buckets or I can see my breath in the air.
6. Why does your patient have another linen-soiling bowel movement immediately after a complete bed change?
- Seriously?! What did I do wrong?
7. Why does the IV pump alarm “air in pump”…when I can’t visibly see a single one?!
- I swear, the IV pump has it out for me
8. Anyone else notice that the most important alarms are the least audible?
- A fog horn sound when a “limb lead is off,” but the “V-tach” alarm sounds like a cricket.
9. Is it just me, or when other nurses get pulled to work with you, the unit is almost too quiet, giving the impression we do nothing but sit at the nurses station?
- I swear, Karma has a sick sense of humor some times.
10. Am I the only one who sets up a piggyback infusion, programs the pump and walks away, only to realize when the pump alarms “infusion complete” that I forgot to unclamp the tubing?
- Sure, I have the time to do that all over again.
11. Ever filled up a graduate with urine only to realize, traveling halfway to the toilet, that the graduate was cracked and leaking? No, me neither.
- I swear, sometimes I’m looking for the Candid Camera crew.
12. Ever spike a bag of IV fluid (or blood) and pierce the bag? Nope, me neither.
I’m not making this stuff up! And only a fellow nurse could relate to some of these”‘hang-ups” that are not tragic in anyway, but have a habit of showing up when you least need it.
As always, take my list with a grain of salt. Be sure to laugh (whether with someone or at yourself!), it’s sometimes the only thing that gets you through the tough times!