4. And speaking of fabulous, have you tried Mastisol for your falsies? I’m talking eyelashes, not cutlets. When a strip of eyelashes starts to pull a Tara Reid, just a dab of ET tube adhesive will do you for the rest of the evening, if not the rest of your life.
Note: The author of this article is not responsible for bodily injury, glued-together breasts or eyelids, or general humiliation incurred from following the tips in this piece.