As we move further into the brave new world of computer charting and voice-recognition dictation at the facility where I spend my days, I’m noticing more and more comedic possibilities in what the doctors okay for their patients’ charts. I’ve compiled a few—anonymously, of course—for your reading pleasure.
1. “The patient states the pain is intermittent, is constant, is relieved by nothing, is exacerbated by nothing, is throbbing, is stabbing, is aching. The patient denies pain.”
That, right there, is why you should double check which boxes you’ve checked in the chart.
2. “The patient expired at eleven hundred hours, dammit.”
This is an example of a voice-recognition system not recognizing heavy accents.