5 lines I never want to hear on the job again


Hemera | ThinkStock

Hemera | ThinkStock

Consider this my public service announcement to patients and their families! Here are the five lines I never, ever want to hear at work again…

5. As I’m getting ready to administer IV pain medication, some wag in the room pipes up with, “Hey, Nurse! Give me some of that, willya?”

Friend, if anybody’s going to be getting pain medication besides the person in the bed, it will be this girl right here.

4. Usually from a nice, elderly person of either sex: “Don’t you think Doctor X is cute?” Doctor X is at the bedside.

Me: “When?”

Agatha Lellis
Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at

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