flickr | COM SALUD
Gentlemen, this one’s for you.
Below, Kati Kleber (aka Nurse EyeRoll) offers a roundup of insight and advice from a handful of nurse buddies who are not women. And we’ve gotta say, there’s some pretty good stuff in here:
Recently, a male nursing student, via Tumblr, asked if I had any advice for him as he begins clinicals this winter in a predominantly female field.
Now, I am not a male nurse. Therefore, I asked some male nurses if they had any insight on this. Below are some points of enlightenment from one of my Twitter buddies, Ryan Mitchell (@rymitch18). I added my own points of enlightenment after his (which are basically just me agreeing with him).
“Do not sleep with classmates or coworkers…if things don’t work out (they almost certainly won’t), everything gets awkward. I didn’t, but classmates did. I’ll admit it was fun to watch their misery.” Um, YES. Agreed. I’ve seen it. It’s hilarious to observe…but I imagine it’s super awkward and unnecessarily stressful. Plus, you don’t want to worry about dealing with that crap when you’re trying not to lose your mind studying. Also, you end up being in the same classes with these people for years, so if you hook up in your first few months and it doesn’t work out, you’re stuck with them for another 3.5 years.
- You attempting to listen in class while your ex-girlfriend stares a hole into your face.
“Be ‘that guy’ that everyone can depend on. Keep your gossip in check; there’s plenty going around on a typical unit. Be the trusted listener.” There is so much unnecessary gossip that flies around the nurses’ station. Don’t get involved. Don’t engage people when they start talking negatively about coworkers. That’s why I love working with guys—they don’t talk or want to talk about who is sleeping with who, who is lazy, how broke people are. Being the trusted listener is the BEST place to be.
“Read, read, read. Twitter is a fantastic learning hub [cough @rymitch18 and @NurseEyeRoll cough cough]. Eventually, people will notice that you are generally prepared for anything you face.” The more you read/know, the less you freak out, the easier your shift is. YAY!
- This could totally be you…being right.
“Sexism only exists if you let it. Patients who initially feel hesitant with a male RN will relax when you demonstrate confident professionalism!” Uh-gree. If you treat all patients with confidence, they’re put at ease because they feel like you really know what you’re doing. And they don’t care when you help them do gross/embarrassing stuff because you’re being professional.
- Be as confident and unashamed as Michael is about how much he hates Toby.
“Never, ever call a patient ‘honey,’ ‘dear,’ ‘sweetie,’ ‘love.’ It’s unprofessional and straight up weird when a guy says it! Refer to the patient by their name.” This is just a good rule all around. I’ve met people who despise being called those names and I hate it, too. It’s unprofessional, so if I were in their position, I wouldn’t trust you as much because you’re treating me like a child. On that note, don’t ask any adults if they need to “potty.” If anyone asked me or my family that, I would flip. I am not a child; do not speak to me like that.
“I always introduce myself to patients with a handshake. Works for guys like me who may not always feel comfortable with the touchy side of nursing. That said, you’ll learn when a reassuring pat on the shoulder, or pulling up a chair, sitting down and holding a hand, is needed. Don’t be distant!” I actually introduce myself with a handshake, and it sets a really good tone for your shift. Patients and families LOVE it. I can just see it in their faces. It sets a professional vibe immediately and it really reassures people by establishing a connection. And yes, it’s perfect for guys who aren’t comfortable with the emotional side of nursing because you really do establish an emotional/trusting relationship when you do that.
Be confident. Ryan is right—sexism only exists if you let it.
I mean, really.. .it really isn’t that different from any advice for any other nursing student. Most people are completely used to male nurses and nursing students and don’t even think about it. I mean, yes, you will get those older patients who call you “Doc” no matter how many times you remind them that you’re their nurse (go ahead, pretend you don’t kind of love it), or the occasional douche who asks why you didn’t go to medical school…but they do that to women too. It’s equally annoying.
I personally love working with guys; we just quote TV shows back and forth and get into a funny meme/e-card contest on our iPhones.
Also, there are some patients who will only listen to men. I’ve had some Amish and Muslim patients who refuse to listen to anything I say. I go grab my male nurse coworker and have them say the same thing and they finally listen. Some people are just like that; I’m not here to change their beliefs/religion/outlook…just here to take care of them. So, thanks, guys!
Here is a little more advice from some of my other male Twitter buds!
Anyone else out there have anything to add!?
To read more, visit NurseEyeRoll.com.
Becoming Nursey: From Code Blues to Code Browns, How to Take Care of Your Patients and Yourself talks about how to realistically live as a nurse, both at home and at the bedside…with a little humor and some shenanigans along the way. Get ready: It’s about to get real, real nursey. You can get your own copy at NurseEyeRoll.com, Amazon or Goodreads (ebook).