Whether you’ve just hit the nursing floor with your first pair of clogs or you’re rounding the corner to your ten year anniversary as a nurse—you might see a little of yourself in this list (or who you used to be!). Take a moment to peruse and have a chuckle.
Are you a new nurse or an experienced nurse?
A new nurse throws up when the patient does.
An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up.
A new nurse wears so many pins on her name badge that you can’t read it.
An experienced nurse doesn’t wear a name badge for liability reasons.
A new nurse charts too much.
An experienced nurse doesn’t chart enough.
A new nurse loves to run to codes.
An experienced nurse makes new nurses run to codes.
A new nurse wants everyone to know she’s a nurse.
An experienced nurse doesn’t want anyone to know she’s a nurse.
A new nurse keeps detailed notes on a pad.
An experienced nurse writes on the back of her hand, paper scraps, napkins, etc.
A new nurse will spend all day trying to reorient a patient.
An experienced nurse will chart the patient who is disoriented and restrain him.
A new nurse can hear a beeping I-med at 50 yards.
An experienced nurse can’t hear any alarms at any distance.
A new nurse loves to hear abnormal heart and breath sounds.
An experienced nurse doesn’t want to know about them unless the patient is symptomatic.
A new nurse spends two hours giving a patient a bath.
An experienced nurse lets the CNA give the patient a bath.
A new nurse thinks people respect nurses.
An experienced nurse knows everybody blames everything on the nurse.
A new nurse looks for blood on a bandage hoping they will get to change it.
An experienced nurse knows a little blood never hurt anybody.
A new nurse looks for a chance “to work with the family.”
An experienced nurse avoids the family.
A new nurse expects meds and supplies to be delivered on time.
An experienced nurse expects them to never be delivered at all.
A new nurse will spend days bladder training an incontinent patient.
An experienced nurse will insert a Foley catheter.
A new nurse always answers her phone.
An experienced nurse checks the caller ID before answering the phone.
A new nurse thinks psych patients are interesting.
An experienced nurse thinks psych patients are crazy.
A new nurse doesn’t find this list funny.
An experienced nurse does.