Best of 2011: Our favorite lists about nurses!

6. You know you’re an ER nurse when…

Many of Scrubs’ Facebook fans had some true insights into the ways you know you’re an ER nurse. Here were some of our favorites.

You know you’re an ER nurse when…

1. You answer the phone in your kitchen with “[Name of your workplace], your own name and ‘How can I help you?’”
—Stephanie S., RN

2. You run out of Scotch Tape to wrap a gift and think nothing of using the roll of silk tape you found in your scrub pocket.
—Donna Holt, RN

3. You check out people’s veins when you’re at a cocktail party!
—Sandra Schutz, RN

Read the full list.


7. What song would be your patient bed alarm?

If you were a patient, what song would you pick as your bed alarm? We asked our Facebook fans on the Funny Nurses Facebook page and here are your answers!

10 Songs That Should Be Patient Bed Alarms

1. “Flagpole Sitta” by Harvey Danger
I’m not sick, but I’m not well
Submitted by Minda Brouillard

2. “Get Up Offa That Thing” by James Brown
Get up offa that thing and dance ‘till you feel better
Submitted by Sherita A. Hall

3. “Tubthumping” by Chumbawamba
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You’re never gonna keep me down
Submitted by Angie Compton Gray

Read the full list.


8. Top 10 ways to spot the nursing student

Deciding to become a nurse isn’t just a career choice. Once you’re in school, it’s definitely a lifestyle! Seasoned nurses can easily pick a nursing student out of a crowd. How? It’s not just the white scrubs. These 10 telltale signs give you away.

10 signs you’re in nursing school

10. You have enough textbooks to BE WebMD.
9. You have purchased enough hand sanitizer to drive up stock.
8. You get to empty the bedpan…AGAIN!

Read the full list.


9. Secret things nurses REALLY think
Every nurse has them: those nasty little non-nursey thoughts that sneak into your brain like steel-toothed ferrets during a hard day.

They’re the thoughts that civilians hope we never actually think, the ones we feel guilty about, the ones we never admit we have until we’re in a well-lubricated frame of mind and in a safe place.

One nurse has those thoughts, and she’s not afraid to share them. Read on, my poppets….

1. Sometimes I don’t like you very much.

Seriously? Sometimes you piss me off. It doesn’t matter whether the “you” in question is a doctor, a patient, a family member, a lab tech or one of the pizza delivery dudes: You occasionally piss me right off. I’m only human, after all, and this job can hit stress levels that make a Red Terror Alert look like a day in a Victorian novel, all lace and picnics.
Even though I look patient and caring, inside I’m seething. I take care of it with AA: Advil and Alcohol, the nurse’s therapy of choice.

2. Sometimes I don’t like myself very much, either.

There are days when I’m just not as patient or I’m having communication problems or things just don’t seem to go right, and I’m filled with self-loathing. It takes some doing to remember that just because I do stupid things, I am not a stupid person; I’m merely having a stupid moment. Likewise, making a mistake doesn’t mean I need to turn in my license. It means I’ve made a mistake. Sometimes these feelings paralyze me, even after nearly a decade of being a nurse, and I wonder if I should go back to waiting tables.

See the full list.


10. You know your mom is a nurse when…

Could you convincingly make an argument that the children of nurses are the healthiest people on the planet? According to this list, that sentiment may very well have merit.

You know your mom is a nurse when…

10. She asks if you’ve had a bowel movement recently.
9. She asks you to describe the pain on a scale from 1 to 5.
8. She tells you to drink lots of clear fluids.
7. She cuts everything with bandage scissors.

Read the full list.


11. 10 ways you know you’re a night shift nurse

Not to say that night shift nurses are a totally different breed, but you do tend to relate to the werewolf thing!

10 ways you know you’re a night shift nurse:

1. Caffeine is a basic food group.
2. Any light of any kind hurts!
3. You completely dread lawnmowers.
4. When a patient asks you why you’re still awake, you wonder the same thing.

Read the full list.


12. Top 40 slang terms nurses use

If you’ve ever treated a “frequent flyer” patient with a case of “Nintendo thumb” or “Avatar blues,” you may be familiar with this list of 40 humorous nursing lingo terms.

Courtesy of our Scrubs Magazine readers and we present these slang terms nurses use and wonder, what are some more?

1. frequent flyer
Definition: One who visits healthcare providers, emergency departments, etc. for every little health problem, often drug seeking or wanting work excuses.
— contributed by reader, Kelly

2. boyfriend
Definition: The cute little old men who are a joy to take care of.
— contributed by reader, Grace

Definition: An acronym used in the ER which stands for ‘Big ‘Ol Needle in the A$$.’
Usage: I’m about to give this patient a bonita.
— contributed by Facebook fan, Tiffany Pizzimenti

Read the full list.

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