The language of health care continues to amaze me. With all of our crazy acronyms, it’s only natural to poke fun at it!
I thought I’d continue on with more false pseudo-terminology (from terminology that didn’t make sense in the first place!) that only those in health care can understand and appreciate. Feel free to refer to and laugh at the first part of this list here.
Hilarious nursing terminology “definitions” part II:
Acute lead poisoning [a•cute lead poi•son•ing noun]
Axis [ax•is verb]
A question, as in “He always axis me what I want for my birthday.”
BiPAP [bi•pap interjection]
“See you later, Dad!” in English
Biology [bi•ol•o•gy noun]
CPAP [c•pap interjection]
“Yes, Dad!” in Spanish
Fibrillate [fib•rill•ate verb]
To tell lies
Ganglion [gang•li•on noun]
Mascot of a group of troublemakers
Histology [hist•ol•o•gy noun]
When you’re booed
Ketone bodies [ket•tone bod•ies noun]
Really fit people with high potassium levels
Lactose [lac•tose noun]
Person without digits on the foot
Mast cell [mast cell noun]
A jail on a boat
Rectum [rect•um verb]
Nearly killed ‘em
Reflex [re•flex verb]
Flexing a muscle repeatedly
Sternotomy [stern•ot•o•my noun]
A teacher who is really mad at me
Subarachnoid [sub•a•rach•noid adjective]
Vein [vein adjective]
Care to add anymore? Always keep them laughing, folks!
Disclosure statement: I’ve picked up these terms along the way over the years. The original sources are not credited since I’ve overheard or read most of them online.