Patients Can Say The Darnedest Things

Upset mature couple with doctor and medicine

As nurses, we get to work with and care for patients everyday. Some days we hear some VERY interesting things come out of their mouths! With some help from our fantastic Facebook community, we’ve compiled some anecdotes that are sure to have you giggling (and shaking your head) the entire way.

  • I had an elderly patient tell me that she was allergic to Lasix. When I asked what kind of reaction she suffered from the drug, she said that it made her pee all night. With a straight face, I had to explain to her that was the whole idea for the medication. – Paul J. Simoneau
  • I had a patient who I found was on the floor, so I asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I need to call someone.” I asked who you gonna call he replied, “GHOSTBUSTERS” – what a night. – Malou Alvior-Garilao
  • I had a patient decide he wanted to be palliative, he then asked me and the doctor if we could “unplug” him. I said, “you aren’t plugged into anything, there aren’t any machines keeping you alive.” lol – Julie Bailey
  • My confused patient told me “well at least you’re pretty, when the nurses are ugly it makes me feel worse.” – Annette Jones Rogers

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3 Responses to Patients Can Say The Darnedest Things

  1. svjanis

    When discussing treatment options for his lung cancer, patient asked about a “transplant using the blood from a biblical cord.”

  2. Astraub2008

    One day, there were a couple of confused patients on opposite ends of the hall. From the nurses station in between I hear #1 shouting, “NOW IS THE TIME!” Down the hall we hear #2, “WHAT TIME IS IT?” #1 “NOW IS THE TIME!” And round and round it went for a good 10 minutes. It still makes me laugh when I tell this story.

  3. lpn70

    During the time I was a student LPN in 1965, I once answered a light by the intercom ” May I help you?” He answered, “Somebody come get me out of this bedpan!! Oh the image I had in my head when he said that! LOL