Have you ever stopped for a moment in the middle of your shift, looked around your unit and thought, What the heck happened in here? From trash to graffiti, departing patients and their family members occasionally leave behind “parting gifts” that you might wish you could exchange for something better!
It all comes down to respect–at least, that’s according to Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew. On the premiere episode of their new podcast, The Adam and Dr. Drew Show, they discussed hospital vandalism and the respect (or lack thereof) many patients show hospitals and the nurses who are busy saving their lives. Read the transcription–which also talks about some of the tougher aspects of the nursing profession–below. Then let us know what you think and if you agree in the comments.
The Adam and Dr. Drew Show
Abbreviations: Adam Carolla (A), Dr. Drew (D), Chris (C)
A: Oh, you’re Filipino, right? Part. Full? Full!
C: One hundred percent.
D: Oh, wow.
A: Are those—is that one of the good ones or the not-good ones.
A: Oh, the nurses. Oh boy. Man. We got all kinds of nurses now. I gotta say, nurse. When I was visiting my dad in the hospital, his nurse was a new gender and a new nationality every single time I pulled into that place.
A: It is wide open. It is not, like, what I am saying is, when you go through LAX and you go through security at LAX, you know what to expect. Not a lot of Swedes working that shift.
D: No. Same thing at JFK. Not the same ethnicity, but a reliable one.
A: They’re very reliable. With certain jobs you’ve learned to rely on. As a matter of fact, at least in L.A., if the terrorists ever light off a dirty bomb at, like, LAX, it will take out at least three quarters of the black population of Los Angeles. I do not believe we’ll have enough black people left to actually keep the race. We’ll have to import black folks, ’cause between the guys driving the shuttles and the guys working the bags and the guys working the security, it’s pretty much, it’s FUBU over there. For us, by us, baby. You guys have a Filipino FUBU?
A: The “P” would be tough to pronounce. You’d have to do a “p-h”…PHILBU? [laughs] You guys remember FUBU?
A: I don’t think they’re so hot any more. FUBU was popular, seems like about ten years ago. It’s like, all the black clothing companies.
D: Since the couple of weeks I’ve been in here, Chris has already had enough of your s***.
A: I know. I wonder.
D: Have you been working him hard, been doing a lot of podcasts? Maybe that’s why he’s had an a** full of you?
A: He was. He’s been going out doing live ones.
A: I wonder if the whole Obama thing is taking the wind out of the sail of the FUBU. You know what I mean? Cause you need a little bit of uh, it’s us against the man. But now, once one of you is the man, then there is no you-against-the-man kind of thing. I’m gonna look into this FUBU, see about buying some stock. All right, so, anyway, where were we?
D: Food, food.
A: So now, a lot of Filipino nurses, right? Why is that? Small fingers?
D: Chris, why is that? I don’t know.
C: I don’t know. My mom’s a nurse.
D: Yeah, it’s weird.
A: Wow! There you go!
D: Yeah, and they’re great, they’re excellent nurses, too. I don’t know if they just saw an opportunity and really exploited it, and then told their relatives about it and tried it to be a good thing.
A: It’s a good gig, right?
A: I mean, it’s a weird gig, but it’s a good gig. It’s a little intimate for me.
D: You don’t like cleaning the bedpans and stuff.
A: Uh, all this stuff that’s going on. I mean, oh my God, I’ve been there with the catheters and the sheets and the poo, and the thing and the that, and oh my God.
D: It is a thankless job. [mumbles something] It really is. We, the physicians, take all the liability, but nursing takes all the s***. The s*** jobs.
A: Literally the s***, yeah.
D: And you get little credit for it, too. Because then, when somebody is angry and yelling, who’s sitting there? It’s like being the receptionist at a restaurant.
D: And that’s the one that takes the grief.
A: Yeah, yeah. Except for that they’re not as hot as the receptionist at the restaurant. But yeah, they’re all…. And then the people are half out of their mind, they’re old, they’re angry, they wanna get out of bed. They’ve got s*** strapped to them and they’re taking it out on the nurse.
D: And the family doesn’t understand the condition there. They get angry with the nurses for not allowing them to do what they want to do.
D: Whatever it is, it’s always our fault.
A: Right, right. We have questions. So, what else, so you had Filipino food?
D: Yeah, had Filipino food, saw patients all morning.
A: One of the nurses brought some Filipino food.
D: She’s a patient, actually. She’s somebody who runs a sort of in-home supportive care services and it’s her mother they take care of.
D: And her mother makes me this stuff every time she comes.
A: Really, so she makes it up fresh?
D: Yeah, yeah.
A: Nice, that’s good. Man, yeah.
D: I’m sure you brought stuff in for the nurses when your dad was in good care. I’m sure, every day [mumbles something] at least.
A: I couldn’t get over two very simple facts about going down to Huntington Memorial in Pasadena, which is a nice hospital. I couldn’t get over the fact that there was scratched graffiti all over the elevator where you look at the readout to see what floor you’re on. It was scratched, like you take a drywall nail and just scratch your gang whatever in there. And then, when I got up to the fourth floor, which is like the intensive care thing, and I went to go use the bathroom, it was scratched into the toilet seat, into the sink, into the dispenser. I’m showing you a picture of a very nice, updated hospital that has s*** scratched into it utterly and completely. So, just for a second, you don’t forget that you’re in a gang-infested piece of s*** of a city.
A: So, just for a second, like, if you’re thinking about your dad or your mom, or your son or your daughter, your loved one, that is in some horrible condition, with some horrible disease. For one second, if you don’t forget for a second you live in one of the world’s s****iest, dirtiest, most f***ed up cities. So then, I got up to the fourth floor, and they’d scraped stuff into the toilet seat, into the toilet paper dispenser.
D: Into the mirror, I think.
A: Into the mirror, into everything. And there is the toilet paper dispenser.
D: For God’s sake.
A: Now these people that are there theoretically wouldn’t get up to the fourth floor unless you’re visiting somebody that’s some doctor.
A: Possibly was putting back together. It could be a member of your gang that you’ve scraped into this thing, or it could be your father or loved one, or a son or a daughter. But the point is, is now the time to scratch this s*** into the toilet seat?
D: By the way.
A: [interrupts] And when do the beheadings begin? Like when do we just start f***ing putting cameras everywhere and just start f***ing lopping people’s heads off and go: Look, you are so f***ed up. If you are so off mentally that you can’t go to a hospital and visit.
D: By the way, that hospital was saving. This is how you show them respect?
[A and D talking over each other.]
A: They’re saving your life, without f***ing desecrating—they’re not saving your life, they’re saving the life of one of your loved one—without f***ing desecrating the bathroom, your f***ing head needs to be removed from your f***ing shoulders. Jesus, it’s so f***ing sad. Then I went back two weeks later and I went to use the drinking fountain on the first floor.
D: By the fountains and stuff, downstairs?
A: Yeah, downstairs. Huge wad of chewing tobacco dispensed into the stainless steel top of the drinking fountain. There is a picture of it.
D: Did you take pictures of this s*** as you go along?
A: I have to. I have to.
D: Is this a new habit of yours?
A: I don’t think people will believe me when I tell them just how f***ing undone this society has become.
D: So weird that you’re doing that now. This is a new thing of yours.
A: I can show you.
D: I can’t imagine you standing there, like, “Hold on, smile,” whatever. I can’t imagine you with the camera. That’s crazy!
A: Listen, there is nobody in sight. And I’ll tell you what was four feet away from where the tobacco was: a bathroom. [pauses] A men’s bathroom. Could have easily gone in there. There is the men’s bathroom.
D: There is the water.
A: There is the water fountain. Four feet away. Go in there and spit your f***ing dip into the toilet and flush it.
D: This is gonna be your new book: Observations by Adam Carolla.
A: It’s not observations.
D: No, it’s the world through the eyes of Adam Carolla. The camera eyes of Adam.
A: I am moving to Japan by Adam Carolla.
A: It’s not observations. My observations are a f***ing one-way ticket to Japan. I can’t f***ing live with these animals anymore. I don’t know what’s going on.
D: What is going on?
A: Everyone is this f***ing self-entitled, narcissistic piece of s***!