Break RoomScrubs

Side-splitting nurse jokes from around the web


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Any experienced nurse will tell you that nursing school doesn’t give you all the survival skills you need to make it in this career. Perhaps the most important trait to cultivate is a sense of humor. You don’t have to be the sharpest scalpel on the instrument tray to figure out that there are times when a good laugh is the only thing that can get you through a long shift. We reached out to our readers and scoured the web to find some real rib-ticklers for you to share at work.

You might be a nurse if you’ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and 12 earrings say, “I’m afraid of shots.”
—Contributed by Sarah Jenkins Kawa

What’s the difference between a psych nurse and the patient? The nurse has the key!
—Contributed by Kathryn Wickham

Did you hear about the lady who got her Valium Rx and her birth control pills mixed up? She has 27 children, but she really doesn’t care!
—Contributed by Sherri Dahlerup Butler

How many psych nurses does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the lightbulb has got to really want to change.
—Contributed by Erin Spencer

Why did the nurse keep her stethoscope in the refrigerator? Because when she put it in the freezer, it took too much skin off.
—Contributed by Mary Kronenberger Thatcher

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?”
He said, “I heard the OR nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.'”
“She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?”
“She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the surgeon!”


Funny nurse-to-patient miscommunications

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