The 10 funniest ways your patients have said “I love you!”

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Let’s face it: You interact with each of your patients a LOT during a typical day (it’s…er…kind of the job description!). And while you’re busy making your patients more comfortable and putting them on the road to recovery, they often start to develop a real emotional connection with you—which some can’t help but take a little too far!

In the spirit of Nurses Week, we asked our Facebook fans for the funniest ways their patients have ever declared it was “true love.” Get a chuckle out of their answers…and let us know if you can beat ’em in the comments section below!

The 10 funniest ways your patients have said “I love you!”

1. We have continuous pulse ox telemonitors, and I noticed that a patient’s oxygen sats were dropping. I went to his room to find his nasal cannula out of his nose. He said, “Are you here to rescue me?” I replied, “Something like that. Your oxygen levels are dipping a little low.” He then said, “Well, will it be mouth-to-mouth?” I couldn’t help but laugh as he winked and put his cannula back in his nose.
—Crystal K.

2. I had a patient, a little old man, whose bandage I changed. After I initialed it and wrote the date, he said, “You forgot your phone number!” LOL! Then he asked how he was supposed to call me for a date.
—Laura D.

3. I once had a patient tell me, “Because you have been so nice to me and because you treated me like a real person, I will kill someone for you if you have anyone in mind.” WOW! I think he would have…and NO, I didn’t take him up on it!
—Marie S.

4. A patient gave me a charm bracelet because we shared the same birthday. The next day, she beat me with her purse for stealing it….
—Ariana D.

5. Upon learning that I would be his nurse overnight, my 88-year-old male patient said, “That’s great! I haven’t spent the night with a redhead since the war!”
—Shari H.

6. An 85-year-old straight female patient declared to me, “I love you! You’re so beautiful, I think you and I could have a beautiful family! You’d make gorgeous babies! Will you marry me?” I said yes, just to make her happy.
—Cahmbriel C.

7. I once had a patient tell me he loved me. Before I could even respond, he punched me in the eye. Just another day in the life of a psych nurse!
—Jacqui T.

8. A little old man patient asked for a cup of coffee, and I asked if he wanted sugar. He said, “Honey, just stick in your finger and swirl it around. That’ll make it sweet enough!”
—Jackie H.

9. While working at the VA in North Carolina, I was rotating through the psych unit. A patient came up to me, telling me he loved me and wanted to go home with me and be my “little piggy.” Hmmmm, yes, I received many “oinks” from my fellow nursing friends!
—Teresa R.

10. I was helping a young man with a head injury with a max assist transfer. I supported his ischia as he came to a full stand. I think he forgot what he was doing halfway through and misread the situation, because he closed his eyes and tried to kiss me. He had the most romantic expression. The worst thing was, I couldn’t let go of him. Time for a verbal cue!
—Diane R.

What’s the funniest declaration of love you’ve ever received on the job?

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6 Responses to The 10 funniest ways your patients have said “I love you!”

  1. MohawkNurseER

    OMG they say so much funny stuff. Where to start? Last night: “I like reds heads. You know, I never f***** a redhead before.” Yeah I know crude, but we have a twisted sense of humor in the ER.

  2. FlyNurse

    Me: Are you warm enough? Do you need a blanket?
    93 year old demented patient: I’d be warmer if you crawled into bed with me.

  3. oldnurse

    I took care of a gun shot victim who would not tell police who shot him but nonetheless was going to get him when he got out. He was there for 4 weeks and I cared for him almost 5 days a week. On his discharge day, he pulled me aside and said he wanted to thank me. He handed me a “rock” that he said I would like. I said thanks and finished the discharge. Later that day I was talking with other nurses and told them how he had given me this rock, to help me out. I pulled it out of my lab coat and showed it to the girls I was working with at the time. They started laughing at me and said, you don’t know what that is. I said it was a rock. It was a rock but a big illegal rock. Police were called. My rock went with them. I was so humiliated. I was certainly “the old nurse ” on the floor who couldn’t recognize crack or think that anyone would ever give that to me as a gift.

  4. Poppy

    I was nursing an 89 year old man who’d had a hip replacement. HWhen I walked in and introduced myself, he looked at me, grinned, and said “Well, I’d sure take you home to meet my mother!”

    And a sadder one: An 82 year old man who’s wife had suddenly decided to divorce him. He looked at me with sad eyes and said “Will you sleep with me tonight? I don’t mean anything untoward but just for a cuddle”.

  5. murphysmom

    I had a patient tell me…I have a million dollars in a bank in Hudson,but I don’t remember which one.If you can find it,then we can get married and run away…he was 97 years old!

  6. carolslee1949

    A response to #4………I know this sounds funny, but, seriously, that’s why we really shouldn’t accept gifts of any kind from a patient. I worked for 12 years in a long term care facility and 1 of our residents gave money to “us”, the staff, to buy pizzas for all 3 shifts. We attempted to return the money, explaining how much we appreciated the gesture, and the policy, but she refused to take it back. Per our policy, we turned the money over to the DON, who attempted to return the money, also without success. So, the DON accepted the money and arranged a pizza party for us. Unfortunately, during my time there, a number of confused residents accused staff of stealing money, jewelry, other belongings from them. In all but 1 case, family was able to confirm that nothing was missing. In the other case, it turned out that the resident’s confused roommate had “gone shopping” in her roommate’s closet.