The all-new, totally accurate lunch menu selection card


As a service to our valued guests, we provide a variety of menu choices to best meet your dietary needs. Please mark the box next to the selections you would like for your midday meal and return the menu to your nurse. Please be aware that if your prescribed diet does not allow your selection, an alternate choice will be made by our Executive Chef.
Chef’s salad with three wilted grape tomatoes, a sad and lonely slice of cucumber, and low-fat, low-salt dressing of your choice (faux Italian, faux Caesar or faux ranch)
Almost-cheese cubes with four green grapes
Flavored Hot Water of the Day (chicken, beef or vegetarian); saltless saltine crackers upon request (not for controlled-carb diets)



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Agatha Lellis
Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at

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