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Top 10 phrases that nurses say most


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We’ve conducted the World’s Most Unscientific Survey! It’s amazing: Our methodology was completely arbitrary. Little, if any, effort went into ensuring rigid scientific standards were observed. In fact, we thought, “Hmmm…isn’t there supposed to be a control group for this type of thing?”

No matter!

We’ve talked to approximately 37,034,686 nurses, give or take a few million, and we asked them: What is the single phrase you say most during the day? Now, some of the nurses gave us practical, useful answers, and we didn’t like those, so we threw those right out, as clear outliers.

Examining the remaining answers (approximately 65,023), we discovered that the following phrases cross nurses’ lips more frequently than any others:

10. “No problem! I’d be happy to change your TV station again. What else would I do with all of my free time?”

9. “Sorry, your insurance doesn’t cover the good Tylenol.”

8. “You won’t feel a thing.”

7. “You’ll have to ask your doctor that. And after he answers, could you clue me in?”

6. “This won’t hurt a bit. Trust me, all the times I’ve attended this procedure, I’ve never felt a thing!”

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The Journal of Nursing Jocularity’s quarterly publication for nurses (Spring 1991 - Spring 1998) was written, edited, illustrated and published by nurses and health professionals. Filled with satire, true stories, cartoons, and all around funny stuff related to nursing and health care – it established its place in nursing history as the only humor magazine for nurses. You can now find the JNJ online at

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