Every nurse hasÂ nursing school stories…but some are racier than others!
We asked our Facebook fans for their funniest stories from nursing school, and boy, did we get an eyeful. Read on for some hilarious, crazy and occasionally R-rated responses!
I was demonstrating an indwelling catheter to my instructor with a sim patient in lab. When I got ready to insert the tubing, the right leg fell off.
On my very first day of LPN clinical, one dear little lady came up to me and gently tugged on my sleeve. I turned and she motioned for me to hold out my hand. I did, and she spit out her oatmeal-covered dentures right into my hand. I had to do some big-time self-talk: “Okay stomach, easy girl, down stomach.” I managed to keep my composure and smiled. Nothing ever rattled me as much as that day did!
I was going to give a glue shot for the first time to an elderly man. He asked, “Will it hurt?” I said, “It can.” I gave him the injection and just as I stuck the needle in his arm, he yelled out, “Somebody call 911!” It frightened me, but I laughed afterward….
When I was in nursing school, I had a patient who was put on a low-salt diet. My instructor told me this would be a good opportunity to get in a teaching care plan. I went through everything in detail, giving my patient examples of foods to eat and even going through her regular foods she ate at home. When we finished, she thanked me and said that this would be a great help to her. When I went back to check on her, a family member was present and had just brought her McDonald’s per the patient’s request. Both looked at me for a few seconds with that “caught red-handed” look. Breaking the silence, my patient said, “I didn’t put any salt on it.” I couldn’t help but smile and nod, and think to myself that it was a start.
A friend and I were working at a nursing home and helping to bathe an elderly lady. We had been taught to let patients do all they were capable of for themselves, so we helped the woman get ready to put her clothes on. We put on her panties and pulled them to her knees, and placed her hands on each side of the panties. After a few minutes, she looked at us and, bless her sweet heart, she said, “Tell me, children, was I taking these off or putting them on?” We told her she was putting them on, so go ahead, it was all right.
My very first day in a hospital on my first med-surg rotation, my first patient was in renal failure, liver failure, Spanish-speaking only (I know about five words in Spanish and the only English words he knew were profanities, which he used on me all day), confused, covered in tattoos and, best of all, he had an open wound on his penis. I was left to do all of his care (I have no clue where the nurse assigned to him/me was all day), including cleaning and applying antibiotic ointment to the wound twice a day. He was so confused that he only knew he hurt down there, so most of my day was spent imploring him through hand motions and drawings to leave his penis alone. The poor guy helped lead me to a career in the NICU and women’s health!
I was on a med-surg floor during my clinicals, and I had a patient with a colostomy bag. My instructor asked me to describe the bowel matter, and I said, “Fluffy.” She replied, laughing, “A fluffy BM? I’ve never heard that before!”
I was watching a guy in his 50s get a kidney stone blasted. I was standing in the back so I wouldn’t be in the way. When the nurse came over to the draped patient, her eyes got big and she said, “OMG, you have to look at this!” The doctor came over and started laughing. I went over there and gasped at what I saw: Here’s this 50-something-year-old guy with a spider tattooed on his penis! I couldn’t wait to tell my instructor. She said to ask him about it. I was too curious to just let it go, so I went to my patient’s room and made a little small talk, and then I threw in, “So….inquiring minds would like to know the story behind the spider.” He chuckled and said, “Because when it grows, it turns into a tarantula!” I got really red, turned around and just walked out.
What’s your funniest nursing school story?