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A guide for civilians: How NOT to be a nightmare in the hospital

5. Do not wander off, IV pole still attached, and attempt to board a city bus.

It’s embarrassing for both of us when security brings you back.

6. “No Smoking” means “NO SMOKING.”

You will be discharged home if you try smoking in the bathroom.

7. Friends and family are lovely, but try to keep it to a dull roar.

This is more for the family and friends: If there are more than four of you in the room for more than an hour, the person in the bed is not resting. Please keep in mind that they’re in the hospital, not having a housewarming party.

Agatha Lellis
Agatha Lellis
Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at askauntieaggie@gmail.com.

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