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A guide for civilians: How NOT to be a nightmare in the hospital

8. I don’t care who you know; it will not make your MRI happen any faster.

Neither will calling your lawyer, the president of the healthcare system, or your Congressman. They all know you’re a jerk already and are much more likely to sympathize with me.

9. Do not sneak food into your room.

This goes double if you’re an uncontrolled diabetic or have just had bariatric surgery.

10. Finally, for the love of all that is holy, be polite.

“Please” and “thank you” go a long way, once you’re well enough to say those words.

Agatha Lellis
Agatha Lellis
Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at askauntieaggie@gmail.com.

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