Nurses and healthcare providers hear some strange things when caring for patients in the ICU. At times the hospital can feel more like a confessional booth than a place to find care. From murder confessions to life’s biggest regrets, there’s no telling what a patient might say before they take their last breath.
We asked millions of providers to share some of their wildest bedside confessions, and we were astounded at what they had to say. Here are some of the best:
I killed my first husband, but he deserved it.
-Dawn
Woman dying. Daughter, husband and family friend all sat at bedside. Woman suddenly comes out with, “By the way he’s not your dad. He is!” and then promptly took her last breath.
-Katherine
I cheated with your brother. Man to wife.
-Luzdivina
“You know that Roswell incident, it really did happen,” from a Veteran on hospice.
-Ally
I’m only trying to fight this (cancer) because I don’t think my mom will be able to handle me dying.
-Malissa
In the 70s I had a man dying and he started talking German. One of my co-nurses who survived a concentration camp said he was lining Jews up to be shot. She translated the words for me. I still go cold when I think of it. His family thought he was just a person who left Germany for a better life.
-Kerry
A relative visiting his dying wife said he had to leave to visit his girlfriend, who was a patient on the opposite ward.
-Amy
Dying old lady: “I wish my daughter would leave me alone. I understand why her husband says she’s annoying now.”
-Mackenzie
I murdered someone!!! After consulting with the charge nurse, I called the police and he confessed to the crime. I was terrified!!
-Stacey
85-year-old grandma who during admission questions admitted to smoking crack
-Chris
When asked how did his penis become superglued to his leg? “I cheated on my wife” ?
-Cherylanne
A suicide attempt that confessed about molesting his young daughters.
-Tracey
I was embarrassed by my 72-year-old patient who told me how much she really loves sex. She then proceeded to ask me if I loved it too. ???
-Serena
Having to cancel an appointment at the local brothel house for a priest when came to CCU with a MI.
-Martha
Being told about an old affair way back in the day since my pt w/dementia was very agitated and thought I was her husband’s mistress, instead of her nurse. She wanted me out of there! ? He sheepishly explained how I looked like the woman he had the affair with so long ago lol!
-Ingrid
COVID deniers who were hospitalized with COVID that admitted their ignorance and had profound changes of heart.
-Sarrah
We recently started using pure wick for female incontinence. It works with suction. The patient really enjoyed it and told me it felt like her husband’s penis.
-Selene
I had a patient tell me her husband cheated on her when they moved to a 55 & over development after 50 years of marriage. She was crying ?
-Donna
A man said he couldn’t find his testicles…they were in the bed somewhere; he was actually looking for his spectacles ?
-Erica
“After we leave, my dad’s other family is coming to pay their respects. Our mom doesn’t know about his mistress and other kids…”
-Rebecca
Married “straight” man came to the ER with “rectal pain” and his wife refused to leave the bedside, as she was very concerned ?. When I took him over to X-ray, he begged me to figure out a way to get his wife out of the room before his boyfriend showed up and to not let her find out the reason he was there. He had a vibrator stuck up his ass after a little lunch break date with his boyfriend ???. Awkward
-Katie
I had a patient confess to two murders after he coded and we got him back, not immediately but a couple of days later and then he coded again. A few days after that, we lost him.
-Brittany
Had an elderly pt who constantly fussed at his wife about coming and going on time. He admitted later it was because his mistress had another time slot???♀️.
-Larnita
You never know who you’re talking to in the hospital. These nurses have heard more than their fair share of personal stories. A big thanks to everyone that shared online. These responses have been edited for length and clarity.
