Categories: Scrubs

A guide for civilians: How NOT to be a nightmare in the hospital

Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments. I’ve kept this short so I don’t go on for the next 10 years or 10 pages…

1. Have a distinct problem.

I don’t care if it’s vomiting, a fever, a headache, joint pain, malaria, a stroke or heart attack, or a missing limb: just make sure you’ve got something wrong with you. A hospital is not the place for respite care, no matter how much you need a break.

2. Don’t over- or under-state your pain.

I have my doubts when you say you’re okay and your hands are clenched on the bedrails. I also have my doubts when you rate your pain at an 11 and are eating pizza and texting.

3. Phenergan is not for fun.

Do not ask me for Phenergan when you’re eating a huge burger with all the trimmings. If you want to take a nap, do so without pharmaceutical intervention.

4. Do not threaten the nurse.

It will not make me do my job any better if you tell me you’ll pop a cap into my anatomy.

Page: 1 2 3

Agatha Lellis

Agatha Lellis is a nurse whose coffee is brought to her every morning by a chipmunk. Bluebirds help her to dress, and small woodland creatures sing her to sleep each night. She writes a monthly advice column, "Ask Aunt Agatha," here on Scrubs; you can send her questions to be answered at askauntieaggie@gmail.com.

Recent Posts

St. Paul Wipes Out $40 Million in Medical Debt for 32,000 Residents

In an unprecedented step toward financial relief and health equity, the city of St. Paul,…

7 days ago

American Nurse Tragically Murdered in Budapest: The Case of Mackenzie Michalski

In early November 2024, a shocking tragedy unfolded in Budapest, Hungary, as American nurse Mackenzie…

1 week ago

7 Ways Healthcare Could Change Under RFK

If Robert F. Kennedy Jr. were to assume leadership of the U.S. Food and Drug…

2 weeks ago

Woman Faked Nurse Credentials to Inject Fake Botox, Say Prosecutors

On November 1, 2024, federal authorities charged 38-year-old Rebecca Fadanelli, owner of Skin Beaute Med…

2 weeks ago

Interview with the Devil: Scrubs Magazine’s Book of the Year – Book Club

In a quaint little restaurant in Echo Park, an up and coming author is sitting…

3 weeks ago

British Doctor Disguises Himself as Nurse in Bizarre Attempt to Poison Mother’s Partner

In a case that has captured public attention for its bizarre and chilling details, a…

3 weeks ago