Funny remarks nurses could live without

Nurses—though we are beacons of kindness, compassion and patience, we too have our pain points.

Yes, charting is a total drag. And, yes, a poor vending machine selection (who even likes “grape”?) can really ruffle some feathers. But what really takes the day-old break-room cake are those uncouth statements that can still make the blood boil.

Eager to understand the comments that nurses wouldn’t mind banning from the hospital grounds altogether (and maybe for a kick or two), we turned to our Funny Nurses Facebook page and asked you to share some of the less appetizing remarks you’ve encountered.

Needless to say—we salute you. Here’s why:

1. “I used to do drugs, so if you give me the needle, I can get the blood for you.” Jennifer S.

2. “‘I’m allergic to 5mg oxy, but 10mg is okay.’ WHAT?!?!?!” —Brenda R.

3. “So many docs say, ‘You would have been a great doctor.’ My response, ‘You might have made a good nurse.'” Robin L.

4. “Well, this is the way we’ve always done it.”Sarah G.

5. “Line 1: ‘Are you the doctor’s wife?’ No, I wouldn’t be working. Line 2: ‘Are you the doctor’s daughter?’ Uh—no. I wouldn’t be working.” Lex Avril M.

6. “From employers: ‘You’re not short—you just have an increased patient-to-nurse ratio….'” Natalia R.

7. “Not you. I want a real nurse.” —Salita R.

 8. “Are you old enough to be working as a nurse?”Nikki M.

 9. “I pay you to do this job….” —Anette G.

10. “‘I hope you are good at sticking because I’ve got rolling veins’…get it on the first try. LOL!” —Nikki M.

We know these can’t be all of ’em—share some of the outrageous remarks that you’ve heard in the comments section below!

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